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We are living in a volatile world. And while we have always known that in the back of our minds, with increasing wars and hate crimes throughout the world, what has happened in Nepal this week has been a stark and ugly reminder of the fact. I, like most millenials, can’t make sense of what’s happening. Conversations with family and friends help but since we are all struggling to understand what’s going on and how humans can be so brutal and commit such horrifying acts, sometimes we all get sucked into a deep well of melancholy from where there is no getting out.

When this happens, as a reader, it’s only natural for me to turn to books and recommend books to those around me as well. I also find myself actively seeking recommendations from friends too. It’s interesting to know what books they turn to when they find themselves lost and helpless.

As a millennial, I feel like we have seen a lot—from the Royal massacre and people’s revolution to massive natural calamities and even a pandemic. And somehow we have managed to wrap our heads around it and survive, perhaps even emerge stronger. But what happened this past week was unimaginable. The image of a boy clad in a school uniform being carried away as blood dripped from his head is something I will never forget and be able to understand. Such horrors are countless. 

I feel like if I don’t divert my mind and try to make sense of the world, in an increasingly hostile environment, I will not be able to function. So I picked up a selection of books that I feel will be able to help. These are books that I have read before and plan to reread in bits and spurts. I believe they will allow me to play with ideas that I might not necessarily agree with but those that are important to understand. 

Why Men Rape by Tara Kaushal

This book is a result of meticulous hard work involving a lot of data collection and research. Kaushal  traveled extensively through India, talking to both victims and perpetrators of violence. She  interviewed those who have been accused of rape and men involved in gang rapes as well. Many times, she received threats and had to seek police protection. Kaushal argues as well as shows through anecdotal evidence how patriarchy and misogyny have armed men with a deep sense of entitlement, one which leaves them unable to understand the meaning of the word no. I think this is a good book to understand the psychology of men who choose to commit violent crimes as well as discuss an issue that is so often swept under the carpet in Nepal. I’m already rereading it to understand the psychological aspect of crime. 

Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari

Yuval Noah Harari is a genius. In ‘Sapiens, A Brief History of Humankind’, he has explained human history in an engaging and entertaining way. His writing is smooth and you don’t feel like you are reading a difficult book despite some concepts being hard to grasp. The book received a fair bit of criticism with some readers and critics calling it superficial and simplistic. But I think it’s a great window to how humans got to where we are. It also explains the origins of almost all aspects of mankind including religion, society, and civilization. There’s a lot of evolutionary psychology here too that might be helpful to understand how humans have evolved and where we are at today. I recommend you read the book in spurts to understand some key concepts if you aren’t in the mood to read a 500 page long narrative at the moment. It will definitely help to make sense of how societies work and maybe see the current chaos in a different way. 

Against Empathy by Paul Bloom

I read this a long time ago and must have reread the passages I have highlighted a few times ever since then. ‘Against Empathy’ is a brilliant book on how being empathetic isn’t all that great as it’s made out to be. Bloom actually makes a case against empathy, suggesting how we might be better off without it. He says that while empathy seems noble, it’s a flawed guide for making moral decisions. For someone like me who grew up being taught the importance of empathy and its importance to live life as morally as possible, this book came as a shocker. Initially, I couldn’t make sense of what Bloom was saying but as I read the book, I realized how empathy can work against us without us even realizing it. Bloom argues that empathy makes us focus on individuals rather than the broader picture. You then make decisions based on emotions rather than a fair assessment of the situation. Biases are inherent in empathy and it impairs judgement, he says. The book makes you look at your ideas and question where they might be flawed. I loved it and I’m sure everyone reading it will find something to take home. 

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

We need to read more books on feminism if we ever hope to create a fair and safe society. On Tuesday, the second day of the protests, a 20 something boy, who was in my lane to set fire to a house, made lewd comments and even tried to come close and put his hand on my shoulders. I could see he felt so powerful and much of it came from the fact that he was a man, despite being half my age. Roxane Gay’s book of essays on feminism, race, and pop culture will make you look at important issues from different perspectives. Gay is an excellent observer of society and her analysis helps clear out the tangles of ideas and thoughts in your head. The book was written over a decade ago but the ideas and themes are still relevant today. The arguments in the book are well researched and clear and make for insightful reading. 

The Doctor and the Saint by Arundhati Roy

I love Arundhati Roy’s writing and ideas. I will read anything she writes and I wish she published more often than she does. Her latest book, a memoir, ‘Mother Mary Comes to Me’ is what I’m currently reading and I love it. Her writing has me in a trance. ‘The Doctor and the Saint’ is the Gandhi Ambedkar debate that argues how the caste system was promoted in India by one of its most revered figures. It’s a look at how the caste system oppresses the poor and the voiceless and gives unjustified power to some. The book can get depressing at times but this short but intense work by Roy opens your eyes to how pervasive the caste system is and how that has been harming our society for ages. By examining the contrasting stances of Gandhi and Ambedkar, she provides insight into their lives and guiding principles. What I especially like about Roy’s writing in this book is her wry sense of humor. 

I don’t like to spend a lot of time taking care of my hair and skin which is why I’m always interested in beauty hacks. But they can be tricky as not everything that you find on Instagram or Pinterest actually works. However, there are some tried and tested tips and tricks that have come to my rescue and I’m sharing them with you.

Onion for the scalp

Onion is a great remedy for hair growth and scalp health as it has sulphur and antioxidants. My mother rubs a raw onion on her scalp. It takes care of dryness, flakes, and makes your hair strong and silky in the long run. Earlier, she used to boil chopped onions with oil and use that on her hair. But she found out that rubbing a raw onion works equally well. There are various products in the market that claim to make your hair stronger and smoother, and they all have onion in their list of ingredients. But you don’t have to buy these expensive products when a kitchen remedy is just as effective. One thing I do recommend however is an onion hair mask. Use it once a week or on a biweekly basis for thick, lustrous hair. Simply extract some onion juice and mix it with coconut or rosemary oil and massage your scalp with it an hour before washing your hair. You can also use a warm damp towel to wrap your hair after putting the oil to lock in the moisture. Another great option is to boil onion peels in water for 10 to 15 minutes and strain the mixture. Use this to rinse your hair after washing it. It will make your hair shiny.

Rice water for glowing skin

One of my friends got rid of dry patches and inflamed facial skin with an easy remedy that her grandmother taught her. Now, she readily shares the secret with anyone who asks. Her grandmother told her to freeze rice water (the water from the first rinse) in ice trays and rub a cube on her face twice a day. Just this one simple thing and her skin, she says, has never seen better days. I tried it and it works. Your skin feels refreshed and supple too. I use an ice roller for that as it just feels easier and more accessible than wrapping an ice cube in muslin and using that. You can get really cheap ice rollers in the market or even order one online. If you want an extra dose of freshness, add a few crushed rose petals to the rice water before freezing it. This simple hack is good for both dry and oily skin. It is also believed to be anti-aging as rice water tightens your skin and helps close open pores. If you don’t like rubbing ice on your face what you can do is make a rice water toner and dab it on your face with cotton balls after cleansing it with a mild face wash.

Vaseline to the rescue

This is one product that is so multifunctional that you must keep a tub at home at all times. It can be used by both men and women for a variety of purposes. A friend uses it to style and shape his beard and keep it looking nice. The trick, he says, is to use just a smidgen otherwise it can look greasy. It is also an excellent replacement for hair gels that can be a bit harsh. It gives your hair a wet, slick look. Use it to lock in moisture in dry areas like elbows, knees, and heels, and to tame flyaways and eyebrows. The most common use of Vaseline is as a lip balm but it can also be used as a great cuticle oil or moisturizer. If you dye your hair at home, rub a generous amount of Vaseline on your hairline to keep the dye from getting on your skin. Another friend I know has stopped buying makeup removers. She says Vaseline does the job effectively at less than half the price. The one trick I found most fascinating was dabbing a bit of Vaseline on your pulse points before spraying perfume. It makes your fragrances last longer. I also recently found out that you can use Vaseline to buff leather shoes, and make them shine. You can also put them on squeaky hinges and rub them over stuck zippers to fix them. 

When I was a child, I remember sitting on the sofa with my mother to watch Chef Sanjeev Kapoor’s ‘Khana Khazana’. Mamu used to be armed with a pad and a pen (which had a bright blue cap that I found fascinating for some reason) and she would diligently write down the recipes as Kapoor guided her (among thousands of other viewers) through them.

This ritual wasn’t just limited to my house. Many of my friends too were going through the same routine at home, with their mothers. Sanjeev Kapoor was a household name and the delicious dishes our mothers whipped up at parties and get-togethers were often attributed to him. Mamu had a famous stuffed veggies recipe that our relatives had come to anticipate whenever we had them over for dinner (which was quite frequently back then as my dad loved hosting). She got the recipe from Kapoor’s famous show but it had taken her a while to master it (with some tweaks) so she didn’t hesitate to claim it as her own. 

Many of the dishes my mother made came from a thick black leather bound notebook, the pages of which were filled with recipes from ‘Khana Khazana’. I sometimes wish we had had the foresight to save that diary but it got lost as we moved homes. Back then, once my mother had memorized the recipes I guess we didn’t consider it as invaluable as I have come to think of it now.

Spoilt for choice

The good thing now is that everything that was once on that food journal of sorts can be found online. Though Sanjeev Kapoor will always be mamu’s favorite chef, there are many great chefs who share their wonderful creations freely with others on social media. Chefs like Vikas Khanna, Ranveer Brar, and Kunal Kapoor among others share many recipes that appeal to our Nepali palate. 

Food content creators on Instagram, Tiktok, and Facebook also provide simple recipes for daily, wholesome meals. You no longer need to sit in front of the television, at a scheduled hour, to learn how to cook. Mamu thinks it’s a miracle and often wonders why people my age and younger don’t take advantage of this and still prefer to eat out. However, things have changed after Covid-19. Though there are many restaurants opening up, people also love to cook and host at home. And the wealth of information we have available online has made great dinner parties possible. 

Over the past few years, I have been diligently collecting recipes from YouTube channels of Indian Chefs as well as saving reels of simple recipes on Instagram. My best friend shared a really long google docs full of recipes from all over the world and I was inspired to do the same. However, while food content creator’s recipes are fun and easy to replicate, the charm of learning from the top chefs is entirely different.

Learning from the pros

My first stint with online cooking lessons began with Ranveer Brar’s YouTube channel. His engaging banter makes learning to cook fun and less like a chore. I started watching them during the pandemic lockdowns and I became quite a pro in the kitchen, if I might say so myself. The thing with learning from the top chefs is that they inevitably teach you to be a good cook by arming you with skills that quick recipes never provide. For example, Brar taught me that cooking with coriander stems brings out its flavor while the leaves are used for garnishing purposes. 

He said if you put coriander leaves in curry while it's cooking, the flavor gets lost in it. Whereas if you add the stem part, it cooks with the curry and gives a nice taste and aroma. I didn’t know that and all these years, I had been recklessly adding whole coriander to curries. 

Chefs like Brar might seem intimidating at first. After all, they do everything so effortlessly. But overtime, you will come to emulate their techniques and understand your spices and other ingredients. I like how Brar keeps things simple. He never tells you that you need a specific ingredient to make something. He gives you alternatives. I mean, you can’t do without ‘imli’ to make ‘sambar’ but besides the absolute essentials, everything can be substituted with something else or simply not used. Great cooks give you that flexibility.

Making learning fun

I must confess that I never thought cooking could be fun. I thought of it as a mindless chore. My favorite line while growing up used to be, “Why cook for two hours for a meal you will finish in 20 minutes?” Mamu always said she enjoyed cooking because it calmed her. It was meditative. I never understood that until a few years ago. I remember Sanjeev Kapoor made cooking feel like a fun activity on his show. He enjoyed it and he wanted others to enjoy it too. It’s the same with Brar. He cooks at such a leisurely pace and his body language is so relaxed and comfortable that it makes you want to do the same when you are in the kitchen. Over time, watching him take his time in the kitchen, I too have started taking things slow. Now I don’t rush through the washing and chopping, choosing instead to savor the process and feel the different textures. The beauty of turning to the pros and not looking for shortcuts is that they really teach you that cooking can be a mindful act—something that you can enjoy and use as a relaxation technique.

Box

Top favorite chefs

I have mentioned Ranveer Brar repeatedly so I’m going to skip him here. But these are my other three favorite chefs who I think can  teach even the most uninitiated some really cool cooking basics and tricks.

Kunal Kapoor

If you want to learn how to make amazing kebabs and curries, look no further. His is the only YouTube channel you will need. Apart from that, he also teaches you to whip up some unique chutneys and drinks.

Shirpa Khanna

Best known for winning the MasterChef India title when she was just 29, Shripa Khanna’s YouTube channel is an eclectic mix of mouthwatering recipes. If you want to learn to cook different kinds of Indian dishes, this can help.

Harpal Singh

He is an Indian chef and restaurateur. His YouTube channel is a fun one with recipes you are not likely to hear of elsewhere. One of my favorites is the ‘Spinach Corn Potato Boats’ that is easy to make, filling, and nutritious.

Dolly Alderton’s books, I think, come badly packaged. The publisher should really rethink the cover design. They are confusing and all over the place. Your eyes hover over the covers without taking much in. I wouldn’t have bought her books had I not read a few of her interviews—one on Elle magazine and another in British GQ—where she talks candidly about why she writes the kinds of stories that she does. I loved reading her interviews because she talks passionately about writing and life.

I read ‘Good Material’ a while back and enjoyed it. About a guy going through a breakup and trying to come to terms with it, Good Material was an interesting take on relationships and how different people view them differently. It was a little slow at times but Alderton’s writing was refreshing and honest and I really enjoyed the book. I had heard her debut novel ‘Ghosts’ was much better than Good Material and though I had seen the book at a few bookstores in town, I had been put off by its silly cover. I know I’m harping about the cover and they say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but with colorful patches and loud proclamations, it’s quite off-putting.

Alderton is a columnist for The Sunday Times and the author of the hugely popular memoir ‘Everything I Know About Love’ which won a National Book Awards (United Kingdom) in 2018. Many of my friends rave about the memoir but I haven’t found the book. I was actually looking for it when I came across Ghosts again and decided to give it a chance (despite the unappealing cover).

Ghosts is a bittersweet and sarcastic book about navigating single life in your 30s. Nina is in her 30s and all her friends are married and having babies. She, on the other hand, has recently broken up with her long time boyfriend. And he is getting engaged to this other girl he has only recently met. Then, she meets someone and they click. Everything looks perfect until he ghosts her, leaving her wondering just what went wrong. Aside from the romantic drama, Nina is also dealing with a difficult career, dwindling friendships, and worse, her beloved dad is slowly losing his memory while her mother seems to be having a mid-life crisis of sorts.

If you feel that’s a bit too much to be happening all at once, if you actually think about it life can sometimes unravel like that. It’s never a linear path, with one singular problem at a time. That is why Ghosts feels so relatable. Nina is not without flaws and you might even identify with one of her friends, depending on what’s going on in your life. The writing is smooth and flows with ease—you feel like a friend is talking to you, taking you through her life.

The book makes you smile, simmer in anger, and upsets you. But as it takes you through a rollercoaster of emotions, you feel better about life in general and more capable of handling whatever comes your way. It left me with an empowering ‘life’s like that’ attitude. I have to admit that it was hard to read at times because of the content but it’s definitely one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.

Fiction 

Ghosts

Dolly Alderton

Published: 2020

Publisher: Penguin Random House UK

Pages: 337, Paperback 

I believe it’s important to read books with strong women characters for several reasons. This is true for both readers who identify as women as well as everyone else. I especially enjoy books with women protagonists as I think they tap more into varied human emotions as compared to books with male protagonists. 

Women have often been underrepresented in literature. Their struggles and achievements aren’t often spoken about or celebrated. But things have slowly been changing with more writers focusing on telling stories with women in the lead. In the past few years, I have read some great stories of inspiring women, both fictitious and real, and they have opened me up to a world of experiences that I would probably not have been privy to.

Books like ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’ by Delia Owens showed me the power of resilience in women who seem silent and are sidelined. It made me think of my mother who doesn’t usually say much but manages to hold her ground with such astounding dignity in times of stress. ‘Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows’ by Balli Kaur Jaswal made me realize that women often have complex needs that they are generally hesitant to discuss. There have been many more such amazing works that have made me look at women and their lives in a completely different light. Here are three of my favorites. 

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

This is Ottessa Moshfegh’s second novel. It’s a story of a young girl who starts relying on prescription drugs in order to sleep for an entire year. The protagonist is a young unnamed woman in New York. She has a lot of problems, and childhood trauma to deal with. Her father ignored her, and her mother was a drunk who used Valium to pacify her. She doesn’t like her best friend, Reva, and she has always felt used by her boyfriend, Trevor. She is not with him anymore but she can’t stop obsessing over him. She decides to take a year off and recover—by taking as many drugs as possible and sleeping for days on end. She believes it’s just the way to fix herself. Moshfegh writes characters who are repulsive but by doing that she exposes people’s vulnerable sides. ‘My Year of Rest and Relaxation’ is seeped in dark humor and evokes empathy for those you might not necessarily understand. 

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes

This is one of my favorite books. It’s such a heartwarming story. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry. And you will be recommending it to everyone you know. Set in small-town 1930’s Kentucky, the book is based on the real-life Pack Horse Librarians of Kentucky, or the Horseback Librarian program as it was called then. The program delivered books as part of Eleanor Roosevelt’s traveling library and ran from 1935 to 1943, making books accessible to over 100,000 rural inhabitants. I love historical fiction and this is probably one of the best I’ve read in the genre. There is drama, conflict, romance, and friendship in this brilliant story that makes you realize the power books and stories have to bring people together. 

Circe by Madeline Miller

Circe came out in 2018 and tells the story of the daughter of Helios, the god of the sun, in a different light. In Miller’s version of Greek mythology, Circe isn’t just a figure with uncertain powers or a witch. The first-person narrative format that Miller has decided to stick to in this book to give Circe a powerful voice, allowing her to tell her own story. Circe, according to the mythology, is the least liked by Helios. She is mocked and eventually even exiled for her use of witchcraft to turn Scylla into a nymph. We see her as a villain of sorts. But in ‘Circe’ we get to hear her side of the story. I loved the book as Circe is such a strong character. She is fierce but not without fears. She is bold but she has her weaknesses. It’s such a lovely depiction of a woman who can be many things at once. 

Every reader has a list of favorite books. The list keeps changing as our reading preferences evolve and change but there are definitely books that we keep coming back to time and again. The thought of certain books fill us with nostalgia and we wish we could read them again, for the first time. Out of all the books I’ve read over the years, if I were forced to pick only five these would probably be it. 

The Island of the Missing Trees by Elif Shafak

This is a beautiful love story narrated in two timelines—one in the 2010s London following 16-year-old Ada Kazantzakis, and the other in the 1970s Cyprus, following her parents Defne and Kostas. One of the narrators is a fig tree that lived in the middle of a tavern in Cyprus before Kostas took a cutting and planted it in his and Defne’s garden in London. As Ada narrates her story of loss and grief and explores her cultural roots, the fit tree fills in the gaps, offering insights into the character’s past and history. The writing is beautiful and concise and believe me, you will never look at a tree in the same way again.  

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

A coming-of-age story of a girl named Kya Clark who lives alone in a shack in the swamplands of North Carolina after being abandoned by her family, ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’ is a fascinating read. Owens is a retired wildlife biologist and she intersperses the story with a lot of information about nature’s various elements, blurring the line between fiction and non-fiction in places. Set in the 1950s and 1960s, the story begins with a body being discovered in the swamp and alternates between the past and the present. Kya is a lovely character, even though she’s a bit aloof and might appear strange at times. You will be rooting for her throughout. 

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

This book made me laugh. It made me cry. I bought multiple copies of it to give to people I love. It’s basically a story about a 59-year-old Swedish widower called Ove who repeatedly tries and fails to kill himself. Ove comes across as cantankerous but between his attempts to die, you see him take flowers to his wife’s grave and tell her that he misses her. He takes his pregnant neighbor to the hospital and even babysits their kids. He does not do it with a smile on his face but you can see that beyond the grumpy facade, there’s a kind man. You also get a taste of urban Swedish life and how immigration is slowly changing the landscape there, much like everywhere else. It’s a beautiful book because it teaches you to love life despite the many issues that inevitably arise. 

Roar by Cecelia Ahern

I have to admit that I wasn’t particularly interested in reading this book when a friend gifted it to me. I assumed it would be sappy and silly as I wasn’t a fan of Ahern’s fiction. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. Roar, a collection of 30 stories about women from different walks of life, is one of the most uplifting and inspiring books I have read. The feminist stories have traces of magical realism and science fiction. The writing is okay but the stories are relatable and highly imaginative. Based on women’s experiences that are almost always shoved under the carpet, the stories leave a lasting impact. I would recommend you to read a story or two at a time and let their message sink in before moving on. 

The Stationery Shop of Tehran by Marjan Kamali

Roya and Bahman are in love. They get engaged but then the coup happens in Tehran and they get separated. Roya is devastated and leaves for California where she meets Walter and gets married. But she can never forget Bahman and this dictates her entire life. ‘The Stationery Shop of Tehran’ is essentially a love story but it’s also a story about a woman’s strength to overcome life’s challenges. It’s sad at times, hopeful at places, and fills you with a strange kind of yearning. If you like historical fiction and romance, you will love ‘The Stationery Shop of Tehran’.

I have to confess that I wasn’t a fan of ‘The Hunger Games’ series by Suzzane Collins when it first came out in 2008. I read it because everyone was reading and talking about it. But since I wasn’t interested in dystopian settings, I didn’t get as hooked as perhaps the rest of the world. 

I read the second part ‘Catching Fire’ as I wanted to know what would happen to Katniss Everdeen, the protagonist, after she won the games but by the third book ‘Mockingjay’, I had lost all interest.

To be honest, I didn’t read ‘The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes’ that came out in 2020 so even I was surprised when I picked up ‘Sunrise on the Reaping’ that came out early this year. It was part the hype surrounding the book and part this acceptance of dystopian novels post Covid-19 which had made the impossible seem possible. 

For those of you who don’t know what the Hunger Games is about (and I’m pretty sure there aren’t very many), it’s a dystopian novel about this place where the Capitol controls all the other districts in the area. Many years ago, frustrated with the Capitol’s oppressive regime, the 12 districts rose against it. There was a civil war in which the districts lost. Since then, as a form of punishment, the Capitol takes two ‘tributes’, a boy and a girl, from each district to participate in what they call the hunger games. Out of 24 participants, only one remains in the end. The blood bath that ensues in the artificially constructed arena where everything is under the control of the game makers is shown on TV. 

Sunrise on the Reaping follows Haymitch Abernathy, who features heavily in the original Hunger Games trilogy as Katniss and Peeta’s mentor. As the only surviving victor from District 12, he is tasked with mentoring the tributes from his district but he is perpetually drunk and lost in his own world. However, his sharp mind and cunning skills prove to be crucial in ensuring the tribute’s survival in the arena. Though you will initially dislike him in the Hunger Games, he is a character who will slowly grow on you. Sunrise on the Reaping gives his backstory and you get to find out why Haymitch is the way he is. You will come to empathize with him.

But you can read the book as a standalone book or even if you have forgotten much of what happens in the Hunger Games trilogy. In district 12, on the day of the 50th annual Hunger Games, Haymitch Abernathy tries not to think too hard about his chances as that year twice as many tributes are being taken. He just wants to make it through the day and be with Lenore Dove, the girl he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with. He truly believes he will beat the odds. But Haymitch’s name gets called in the reaping and he finds himself torn apart from his family—his mother and younger brother, and his love. He is transported to the Capitol with three other district 12 tributes—a young girl he considers his sister, an oddsmaker, and the girl Lenore dislikes the most. 

Even before the games begin, the people at the Capital and especially President Snow take an instant dislike to him. Haymitch soon realizes that he has been set up to fail from the start and that they are going to do everything to take him out as early and as brutally as possible once he enters the arena. But something in him wants to fight, and to show the Capitol people that the tributes aren’t just mere pawns.

I breezed through the book as I simply couldn’t put it down. It’s fast paced and the characters are beautifully developed. You even come to care about a character that appears for a really short time and has perhaps been implanted by the Capitol to spy on Haymitch. We learn a lot about Haymitch in the third part of the series ‘Mockingjay’ and those who haven’t read Sunrise on the Reaping might wonder what new this book has to offer. But there are so many layers to his story and how he won the games that you will be missing out if you don’t read this gem of a novel that keeps you on the edge of your seat all throughout. 

If you haven’t read the series then this book could actually even be a great introduction to it. I’m tempted to read the Hunger Games again after having read Sunrise on the Reaping because I’ve forgotten much of what’s in it and also because I feel I’ll look at the characters and the story from a fresh perspective. I hadn’t enjoyed them very much when I first read it but now I’ve a feeling that I will as I’m quite invested in the plot and care deeply about the district tributes whoever they might be. President Snow might just be my most hated person at the moment. What I mean by that is, in my head, I seem to be largely living in the world the author has built.

The book also deals with themes like political propaganda and the gap between the haves and the have-nots, making it a thought-provoking read as well. I’ve given it a five out of five stars and can’t stop thinking about it. It’s every bit as wonderful as the internet (especially all the BookTubers) is making it out to be. 

Dystopia

Sunrise on the Reaping

Suzanne Collins

Publisher: Scholastic Press

Published: 2025

Pages: 382, Hardcover

Price: Rs 1918

Many of us have a problem saying no to people. It makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we have to explain ourselves or make elaborate excuses. So, we end up saying yes to things we would rather not be a part of. I guess it’s one of the most common human conditions—one that we would like to correct but find ourselves unable to most of the time. 

I’m horrible at saying no to people. My default response is always a ‘sure’ or an ‘okay’ even as my mind is screaming otherwise. I don’t want to disappoint people or come across as someone who is difficult. But saying yes doesn’t always guarantee I will follow through on my promises. I will often skip lunches and invites despite having said yes to them. I’ll find ways to back out last minute and feel relieved when someone cancels engagements I’ve agreed to be a part of. I realize if I could only say no to things I don’t feel like doing, I don’t have to be unnecessarily stressed out or eventually do things half heartedly. 

I always vow to do better—to speak my mind and turn down offers I’m not interested in. I’m envious of people who can say no. Every year, it’s one of my top five resolutions. I’m trying to learn how to say no without offending people. But it’s not an easy thing. Whenever I say no (or try to say no) I can clearly see the hurt on the other person’s face and I start to explain myself, sometimes even making up stories as I go. I hate myself for it. But I fall into the trap every single time. 

I have a few friends, colleagues, and mentors who can say no politely and with ease. One thing they all seem to have in common is clearly sorted priorities. They know they won’t be able to give time to certain things and have no qualms about rejecting those offers. I have spoken to a few of them and they have all maintained that how the other person feels isn’t in their control. The best they can do is be direct and clearly state where they stand. It prevents future misunderstandings and complications, they say. 

I have said yes to things that I’ve had to cancel at the last minute and this is even worse than not being able to say no in the first place. I realize it makes me lose face and people aren’t likely to take my words seriously in the future. I can’t remember the number of times I’ve said yes to invitations and engagements knowing full well that I might not be able to make it and then regretted it later. 

I’ve also had people say yes to me only to disappear at the last minute. Once a senior female journalist agreed to participate in a roundtable event I was organizing for research purposes. She even confirmed a week before the discussion. Then she wouldn’t pick up her phone or respond to texts a day prior to the event. I know she wasn’t ill or had had no emergencies and could have responded to the calls and texts as she was out and about town. Some people I knew had even caught up with her for coffee and chitchat. 

Needless to say, I hated being on the receiving end of this kind of unprofessional behavior and I wondered how many times I might have disappointed people in a similar fashion. I would like to say that I’ve always made it a point to cancel if I wouldn’t be able to do something I had said yes to but I must have pulled the disappearing act too a few times when it has been too awkward to cancel. 

This one incident has made me think deeply and seriously about the importance and perhaps kindness of saying no rather than saying yes to seem amicable and nice and then later backing out. Though initially alarming, it gives the other person clarity on where things stand. It’s a nicer thing to do for the sake of the other person and also a kind thing to do for yourself. You will feel better about yourself and won’t be stressed. 

Saying no takes practice and it’s not something I hope to achieve overnight or through resolutions but to start with I’m definitely going to force myself to speak my mind instead of saying yes to everything that comes my way. 

One of my colleagues told me a great way to start saying no is to tell people you will think it through when they ask you something and not give an immediate answer. This allows you space to gather your thoughts and give a dignified answer without offending anyone or without having to compromise.