Despite the progress made by millennials, many deep-rooted societal norms still endure. While the new generation aspires to challenge outdated traditions, societal expectations continue to dictate decisions, particularly regarding marriage and gender roles. These norms shape our lives in ways that often go unquestioned, reinforcing outdated beliefs about relationships and responsibilities.
One prevalent example is the stigma surrounding marriage and age differences. A younger man marrying an older woman is often seen as inappropriate, whereas the reverse is widely accepted. Similarly, divorced individuals face immense social pressure when seeking remarriage. A young bachelor is unlikely to marry a divorced woman, and bachelors or bachelorettes are often discouraged from choosing a partner who has been divorced. “When actor Ayushman Desraj Joshi got married to actress Priyanka Karki, he faced quite a backlash as she was older than him and divorced.”
Intercaste marriages are still viewed as unacceptable in millennial societies, yet friendships across lower castes are considered normal. These contradictions highlight how arbitrary and deeply ingrained these biases are. Women, in particular, face pressure to marry before their thirties, as if their worth is tied to their age and marital status. They are led to believe that they need a man for financial and social security. It is rooted in them from a young age, with sayings like “chori manche poi ko ghar jane jaat.” Meanwhile, men are conditioned to believe they must be financially settled before their thirties to be considered eligible for marriage. But why do we continue to let these expectations dictate our lives?
This societal conditioning extends beyond marriage and affects household responsibilities. A long-standing belief persists that household chores are solely a woman's duty. Even in modern households where both partners work, women are still expected to manage cooking and cleaning. It is ingrained from childhood that the kitchen is a woman’s responsibility, while men are rarely taught these essential life skills. Even if they acquire these skills, they still believe it is a woman’s responsibility. The expectation that men should not cook and that food should be served to them at the dining table still exists in our societies, even among millennials. Even some feminist women unconsciously uphold these norms, demonstrating how deeply these beliefs are embedded in society. Men rarely consider tasks like washing clothes or managing household chores because they have been conditioned to believe it is not their duty.
A crucial question arises: why are we not breaking these norms? Are we not educated enough to challenge them? The reason often lies in fear—the fear of being judged or stigmatized for defying societal expectations. Perhaps we continue to follow these outdated norms because they provide a sense of security, or maybe, subconsciously, we are too deeply rooted in them to let go. The irony of all this is that, despite knowing these dictations have no rationale behind them, we decide to hide behind the curtain of society, saying “samaj le k bhancha,” while subtly hindering our own lives.
