How can young adults navigate the challenge of asserting their independence while maintaining a respectful and understanding relationship with their parents, especially when parents continue to view them as children out of love, habit, or concern? How can understanding parent’s perspectives open trust and communication between them and their children?

Answered by Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

It’s a common experience: no matter how old you are, parents often find it hard to stop seeing you as their little one. This comes from love, habit, and sometimes worry, but it can feel frustrating when you’re trying to assert your independence.

The first step is to recognize their perspective. For your parents, caring and guiding you has been a lifelong role. Their overprotectiveness is not necessarily a lack of respect—it’s often their way of showing concern. Understanding this can help you approach the situation with patience rather than anger.

Next, practice open communication. Instead of confronting them with, “Stop treating me like a child,” try gentle but firm statements: “I value your advice, but I’d like to make this decision for myself.” Framing it as a request for trust rather than rejection reduces defensiveness.

Equally important is consistency. If you want your parents to see you as an adult, show them through your actions—be responsible with finances, follow through on commitments, and own your choices. Parents are more likely to ease their control when they see maturity in practice.

Lastly, remember that change takes time. Parents often need to adjust gradually to your adulthood, just as you once adjusted to theirs during adolescence. A balance of respect for their feelings and assertion of your independence creates space for a healthier, more equal relationship.

Growing up doesn’t mean cutting ties—it means reshaping them. With patience, dialogue, and responsibility, you can help your parents see you not as a child to be directed, but as an adult to be trusted.