From the time they are young, girls are often told to “be a good girl.” At first, it sounds like a harmless phrase, maybe even a sweet reminder. But behind those words is a lifelong burden of expectations. Being a “good girl” comes with silent rules that decide how a woman should behave, speak, and even think. It is a label society uses to control women, shaping their lives around pleasing others rather than living freely.
In many cultures, including ours, the idea of a “good girl” is linked to how much a woman can fit into set boundaries. She is expected to be quiet, polite, modest, and obedient. She should dress a certain way, speak softly, and never challenge authority. The moment she steps outside these unwritten rules, she is quickly judged. People may call her rude, rebellious, or disrespectful. These words are not just casual comments. They bring real consequences like gossip, judgment, exclusion, or even violence. According to a 2019 UNICEF report, one in three girls worldwide experience gender-based discrimination or violence by the age of 18, highlighting the serious impact of these social expectations.
This pressure follows women at every stage of life. As a child, it could mean being told not to play rough games or talk too loudly. As a teenager, it might restrict her from going out with friends or expressing her opinions openly. As an adult, it often shows up in the form of limited freedom at work, in marriage, or in making personal choices. Many women grow up hiding their true thoughts and dreams just to avoid being labeled the wrong way.
The consequences of this pressure can be far-reaching. Women who do not conform to these standards may face social isolation, difficulty in career advancement, and challenges in personal relationships. Mental health issues such as anxiety and low self-esteem are common among women who feel forced to suppress their true selves to fit societal expectations.
But things are changing. Around the world, women are starting to push back against this outdated idea. They are standing up and saying that being a “good girl” does not mean being silent or submissive. A woman can be confident, ambitious, outspoken, and still be good. She can make bold decisions, follow her dreams, and question unfair rules. Being a good person should be about honesty, kindness, and respect, not about fitting into a narrow idea of how women should behave.
Social media and global movements have played a major role in empowering women to challenge these stereotypes. Platforms allow women to share their stories and support each other, creating communities that celebrate individuality rather than conformity. Campaigns focused on gender equality and women’s rights have brought these conversations into public spaces, encouraging both young girls and adults to rethink the old labels.
It is time for society to stop using words like “good girl” or “bad girl” to control women. Instead, we should teach everyone to be themselves, no matter their gender. Empowerment comes when women are respected for who they are, not for how well they follow someone else’s rules. This change has to begin at home, in schools, and in everyday conversations. Parents should raise daughters to be brave, curious, and strong. Teachers should encourage girls to ask questions, lead, and think for themselves. Communities should stand by women who choose a different path. Most importantly, women must believe in their own worth and stop waiting for anyone’s approval.
The world does not need more “good girls” who stay quiet out of fear. It needs women who know their value and are free to live life on their terms. The old idea of the “good girl” belongs in the past. The future belongs to women who refuse to let society define their identity.
Aarya Risal
BSW
St Xavier’s College, Maitighar
