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I’m a 33-year-old newly married woman with a full-time job. Ever since I got married a few months ago, I have struggled to understand the culture of my husband’s family, and to adjust with my in-laws. Juggling my home and work has been frustrating. Sometimes I have to leave work early just to attend a function that my in-laws want me to be present at. It is difficult to fulfill all the responsibilities of a ‘housewife’ when I also have job priorities. My in-laws complain that I’m not social enough or present at home enough. They expect me to be a traditional housewife. I do care about them but I feel burned out with so much on my shoulders. What do I do? —A.K. 

Answered by Krishangi, Psychologist at Happy Minds 

This is a common problem for most Nepali working women. They are defying the old social norms, and there are bound to be some pushback and friction. You’re feeling obligated to please your in-laws by sacrificing your career and identity.  

There is a clear generational gap between you and your in-laws. For them, it is what they have been taught and seen their whole lives. You can’t tell them to suddenly flip a switch and change their mind—it’s not that simple. It is natural for them to have such expectations of you because their in-laws had the same expectations of them.  

You have to try to be patient and gentle with them. Make sure you let them know that while family is important to you, you also cherish your job and that you are not trying to sacrifice one for the other. Tell them that you are simply trying to balance your priorities.  

In a situation where they expect you to be present with them or at a social event when your work schedule doesn’t allow you to do so, tell them in a respectful manner that you can’t be there. You can stand up for yourself without sounding rude. Convey your message respectfully. There has to be a healthy discussion, where you and your in-laws can meet halfway when it comes to such problems.  

If you still have difficulty standing up for yourself, try to talk to your husband about it. Tell him how it is from your perspective. Maybe he can support you in having a fruitful conversation with your in-laws.  

Political meddling in the appointment, retention and promotion of top-ranking civil servants has become par for course in Nepal. One recent victim of this was Maha Prasad Adhikari, who was wrongfully sacked as Nepal Rastra Bank governor. The Supreme Court duly restored him to the post and dismissed the government’s flawed logic for his removal. Now an appointment in Nepal Police has come into controversy. On May 1, Additional Inspector General (AIG) Dhiraj Pratap Singh was appointed the new police chief. A day later, Biswa Raj Pokharel, second in command before Singh’s appointment, filed a writ at the Supreme Court, asking for the annulment of Singh’s ‘wrongful’ appointment made by violating seniority. 

Things are not so straightforward. Both Singh and Pokharel had joined the police force on the same day in 1993. But in 2019 the KP Sharma Oli government promoted Pokharel to the rank of Deputy Inspector General—ahead of Singh. A year later, it created an additional AIG post to adjust Pokharel, much to Singh’s chagrin. Now Singh has turned the tables on Pokharel. There is clearly a lot of politicking behind the appointment of the police chief—more so on election-eve.  

Over the years the government’s executive arm has behaved like a law unto itself. Whenever a new government is formed, it tries to appoint high-ranking judges and chiefs of security bodies along partisan lines, and the latest police row is part of the same trend. This is not to argue that a less competent senior officer must always be promoted over a more competent junior. But there is seldom any evaluation of competence when making these political appointments. 

Unless a system is developed to rigorously vet the eligibility to civil servants for top posts, the government would do well to stick to the seniority basis. After all, many officers are deservedly in higher ranks based on internal evaluations. Even if we don’t get it right immediately, in time, this will set a good precedent and boost the morale of our state organs. It’s never a good idea to break the natural chain of command without a solid reason.

Chief of Army Staff (CoAS) Prabhu Ram Sharma held a video conversation with his newly appointed Indian counterpart Manoj Pande on Wednesday. Pande was appointed as the Chief of Indian Army on May 1.

According to the Nepal Army Public Relations Directorate, CoAS Sharma congratulated Pande through video conference and wished him a successful tenure.

During the conversation, Sharma expressed his hope that the relations between Nepal Army and Indian Army will reach new heights during the tenure of General Pande, the Directorate said.

On the occasion, Sharma also invited Pande to visit Nepal.

In reply, Pande said that he would visit Nepal at an appropriate time.

The Nepal Stock Exchange (NEPSE) plunged by 31. 76 points to close at 2, 275. 68 points on Wednesday.

Similarly, the sensitive dropped by 4. 90 points to close at 436. 88 points.

A total of 3, 602, 848 units of the shares of 233 companies were traded for Rs 1. 26 billion.

At the end of the day, the total market capitalization stood at Rs 3. 23 trillion.

Nepal logged 19 new Covid-19 cases and one death on Monday.

According to the Ministry of Health and Population, 2, 373 swab samples were tested in the RT-PCR method, of which 19 returned positive. Likewise, 1, 448 people underwent antigen tests, of which no one were tested positive.

The Ministry said that 18 infected people recovered from the disease in the last 24 hours.

As of today, there are 217 active cases in the country. 

Five persons including a child died when a bus carrying pilgrims and a Tata Sumo collided with each other at Roshi Rural Municipality-11 in Kavre on Wednesday.

The bus bearing Indian registration number plate (UP 583 B 8181) heading towards India from Kathmandu collided head-on with the Tata Sumo (Ba 1 Cha 4210) en route to Kathmandu from Sindhuli this afternoon, DSP Hari Khatiwada, spokesperson at the District Police Office, Kavre said.

He said that 18 persons were injured in the incident and are receiving treatment in Dhulikhel.

India registered about 475,000 more total deaths in 2020 than the previous year, government data released months ahead of schedule on Tuesday showed, as the World Health Organization readies its estimates of excess COVID-19 deaths whose methodology New Delhi has opposed, Reuters reported.

Some experts estimate India's actual COVID death toll is as high as 4 million, about eight times the official figure, especially as a record wave driven by the Delta variant killed many people in April and May of last year. The WHO's estimate will be published on Thursday.

Vinod Kumar Paul, a top health official who has overseen India's fight against the pandemic, said there was nothing "dramatic" in the total death data for 2020 and that those were "absolute, correct and counted numbers".

He said the data showing 8.1 million total deaths in India in 2020 was released by the Office of the Registrar General two to three months in advance because of the attention on the country's COVID toll, according to Reuters.

"There is a public narrative in the media, based on various modelling estimates, that India's COVID-19 deaths are many times the reported figure - that's not the case in reality," he told state TV.

"We now have actual data for 2020, there is no need to do any modelling now. We will have actual, robust data for 2021 too. Modelling can lead to overestimation, absurd estimation."

The death count grew slower in the country of 1.35 billion people in 2020 than in the previous two years, the data showed.

India officially reported 148,738 COVID-19 deaths in 2020, with the tally jumping to 523,889 on Tuesday out of more than 43 million cumulative infections. Only the United States and Brazil have recorded more deaths as of Tuesday.

Countries around the world reported only 1.83 million COVID-19 deaths in 2020 but the WHO estimates excess mortality of at least 3 million globally for that year.

India has said it does not agree with the WHO's methodology, though the scientists working on the latest estimates have defended it, Reuters reported.

Nepal Community Party (NCP) has taken action against party General Secretary Netra Bikram Chand.

A special national assembly that started in Chitwan from Wednesday decided to remove General Secretary Chand and spokesperson Khadga Bahadur Bishwokarma from the party.

An assembly of Dharmendra Bastola and party secretariat member Hemanta Prakash Oli faction decided to remove Chand from the post of party General Secretary.

A meeting of the majority of the central members has appointed Bastola as the coordinator.

Earlier, Chand had expelled Bastola and Oli from the party for carrying out activities against the party.

Bastola and Oli are in favour of boycotting the local level elections while Chand is in favour of supporting independent and nationalist candidates.