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At Lagan, the midst of the old city of Kathmandu, sits an old palace that was the ancestral home of the famous Thapa family. The most famous member of this family was Bhimsen Thapa, Nepal’s first prime minister. He remained in office for some 30 years. During his time, Thapa modernized the Nepal Army. He made cantonments, magazines and barracks and drilled the Army into hard military training. To instill pride in the rank and file, he made badges, headdresses and uniforms. In the late 1830s, Bhimsen retired to his country estate. However, in 1839, his enemies lured him back to Kathmandu and imprisoned him. The charges of high treason were laid against him, and to break his spirit, he was informed that his wife was to be dragged naked through the city. The night before this outrage was to occur, Bhimsen hanged himself in his cell. After hearing the news, his wife threw herself from a high window of their palace with a rope around her neck. Even today rope hangs from the very spot in homage to this great statesman. In 1845, Bhimsen Thapa’s nephew became prime minister and initiated a full inquiry, which fully exonerated his late uncle. A great bloodbath followed, eliminating all the original Thapa enemies. Lagan Silkhana was never reoccupied by this family; it became the royal armory. From this particular armory, the Atlanta Cutlery Corp and the International Military Antiques of New Jersey purchased many rare, original weapons. Many such items had not been available for decades. This was truly their great opportunity to add to their British Victorian Weapons in their weaponry history, which also promoted the British Colonial and the US Civil War Collections. Religious significance of modern Khukuri  The British colonial administrators and military staff during World War I and II considered the ritual practices associated with kike or khukuris as superstitious, demonic and pagan. Many senior Kiranti officers would share this experience with us. The British Military Officers regarded such rites as a sign of the culture of backward and simple people of the hills. Many shamanistic rituals with ancient khukuri systems were banned from Gurkha Regimental protocols. But shamanism for Nepalis is something different. Shamans and priests, healers and astrologers are part and parcel of Nepali cultures. This tradition is thought to date back long, and is still practised in Nepal and neighboring countries. Khukuri still is a religiously significant weapon as it is worshiped during Dashain, the most important Hindu festival. It is worshiped at times before any sacrifice is made. Dashain is given importance in the Indian Gurkha and also the British Gurkha regiments. Since weapons are taken as symbols of power in Nepal as well as in the Indian and the British Gurkha regiments, all heavy and small arms are made sacred, and many male goats and buffaloes are sacrificed especially on Mahanawami (the ninth day of Dashain). In Nepal, 54 male goats and 54 male buffalos are sacrificed at the Hanuman Dhoka, Dashain Ghar and Kot as well as 108 male goats and 108 buffalos are sacrificed at the Taleju Bhawani on Kalaratri, the ninth day of Dashain. The British Gurkha Army and the Nepalese Army follow the same rites and rituals during the animal sacrifices given during festivals like Dashain. Their proven expert ceremonially sacrifices a fine male buffalo and goat in each regiment. A gigantic khukuri of over 30 inches length, weighing over five kilograms is used as the scapegoat’s head must be clearly served with one clean blow. Sometimes a khunda is also used. The choice of weapons depends on the sacrificer. When this is achieved, with 100 percent success, it is deeply believed that Goddess Durga Bhawani keeps on showering blessings on the regiment throughout the year. Finally, it is also a custom to honor an expert sacrificer. Usually, the commanding officer and Gurkha Major offer some cash reward to him. This honor is much valued among the Gurkhas. This practice has ceased in the British Gurkha Army since 1973 but not in the Pokhara Camp where a male buffalo and a male goat are ceremonially sacrificed in the name of the present Royal Gurkha Rifles (RGR). My personal experience is that Dashain has always remained a favorite festival among the Gurkhas and their officers. My Maj Gen CH Boucher, CB, CBE, DSO would wish Dashain greetings in this manner: “I wish all ‘Gurkha Officers’ and ‘Gurkha Other Ranks’ that this Dashera be joyful, prosperous and good from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunately, due to the full job of dominating ‘Communist Bandits’ you did not receive a full 10 days leave. However, all of you may get up to seven days leave. Although you are far from your homeland, I hope you will celebrate the festival happily.” For Malaysia-based Gurkhas, 2,000 gallons of duty-free rum used to be available tax free on the occasion of the big festival of Dashain. Testimonials issued by the Prime Minister and Supreme Commander in Chief of Nepal in 1947 state that the religious significance of khukuri must not be forgotten. In 1948, Maharaja Padma Shamsher JBR, the prime minister and Supreme Commander of Nepal, wrote: “The Khukuri is the national as well as the religious weapon of the Gurkhas. It is incumbent on a Gurkha to carry it while awake and to place it under the pillow when retiring. As a religious weapon, it is worshiped during Dashain (the most important Hindu festival) and at other times whenever any sacrifice is to be made.” Excerpts (edited) from the book titled Khukuri: Kike, History and the Gurkhas (188 pages) to be published by Adroit Publishers, New Delhi, in association with Vajra Books, Kathmandu. The tentative date of publication is Jan 2023

Arbitration and mediation as a legal means of dispute resolution was in practice in Nepal much before the country welcomed democracy and a codified judicial system. During the Panchayat era, for example, the Panchayat was an informal tribunal of five gentlemen chosen from among the electorate of a village to settle disputes between local people and deliver justice. However, it was subordinate to the court of law. In the Licchavi period, the Panchali, also called Pancha Sabha, had the power to issue judgments on local disputes. The concept of arbitration in its modern sense was first found in government contracts. Currently, we have a plethora of laws promoting amicable settlement of disputes. Cases of civil nature can be mediated at any stage even if they have entered the court of law. Mediation can happen before evidence collection, after evidence collection or even during the implementation of judgements. If the Bench has reasons to believe that the dispute can be resolved through mediation, the judge can pass an order, directing the parties to sit for mediation before the mediation center of the concerned District Court or the High Court. Court procedure The Mediation Act, 2068 BS (2011) and its rules framed in 2070 BS (2013) provide for the procedure of mediation to settle a dispute in a speedy and simple manner. Section 3 of this Act provisions that if parties intend to settle a case pending in the court through mediation, the adjudicating authority may pass an order to refer it to a mediation center for reaching a compromise. After passing the order, the court officials engaged in providing dates of appearances to the parties would request the parties to appear before the mediation center on a specified date. Then, the parties themselves, not their legal representatives, would (in person) have to appear before the center on a specified date to participate in a discussion for reaching a negotiated settlement. Before entering the mediation process, the parties must choose a mediator from a roster of mediators maintained at the District Court. After the selection of a mediator, the mediation process formally begins. Discussions can happen in phases—up to three phases. In case of failure on the part of the mediator to facilitate a unanimous decision despite rounds of talks between the parties, the center must furnish a report announcing the termination of the mediation process. Afterwards, the court itself should hear the case under normal proceedings. The District Court Regulations, 2075 empowers the District Court Registrar to maintain a roster of mediators. Any individual from the legal fraternity, teaching, social service or other sector may be enlisted as a mediator, provided that the person has received training on mediation and has not been convicted under offenses involving moral turpitude. Rule 52 of the regulations has given the judges the authority to initiate a case for mediation by passing an order to that effect. In order to resolve disputes through mediation, judges may give the parties concerned up to three months of cooling period for reaching an amicable settlement. Rule 53 of the regulations prescribes that the Registrar of the District Court should facilitate the selection of the mediator on the basis of consensus among the parties, whereas Rule 57 prescribes procedures for mediation. If a party or parties fail to appear before the mediation center on a stipulated date, and the mediation process cannot proceed as a result, officials of the center should furnish a report to the court, stating that the mediation could not proceed. However, if the parties reach an amicable settlement, the mediator should prepare a compromise document by duly stating the details of adjustment. Later, the compromise document is presented before the bench and the presiding judge approves the document through consent of the disputants in writing along with their signatures. This document is also a form of court verdict, which is duly archived in court case file. Both High Court and Supreme Court Regulations recognise mediation as an agreeable means for dispute resolution and the arrangements are at par with District Court Regulations. Mediation under major laws   The National Civil Code, 2017, a general substantive law in Nepal, has provisions for mediation in civil matters. Take divorce, for example. Section 97 of the Code, 2017 provides that if a husband or wife has filed a petition for divorce in district court, the court must pass an order, directing the parties to sit for mediation. If the court fails to make conciliation between husband and wife through counseling, it must issue a divorce order within a year of the petition. There can be a compromise deed for divorce, of course. Under Section 193, the Civil Procedure Code stipulates that if a case is sub-judice and the parties wish to reach a compromise at any stage, they may make a joint petition, mentioning the bases for the resolution of the case. Section 194 clarifies that disputes may be settled through mediation. However, there are cases that cannot be mediated. Per Section 195, there can be no mediation in cases that have the government of Nepal as a plaintiff. It states that cases related to public, government or community property shall not be settled through compromise or mediation. However, for protecting the property of the government, mediation can be undertaken. Cases like dishonor of cheque, forgery, criminal trespass and looting mentioned under Schedule 4 of National Criminal Procedure Code, 2017 can be mediated. In addition to this, cases of cheating (which is a matter of Schedule-1 of the National Criminal Procedure Code) instituted by an individual can be mediated. But cases related to looting or misappropriation of government property cannot be mediated. In cases concerning misappropriation of state properties, the government should initiate legal action. Cases of contempt of court and public interest litigations cannot be resolved through mediation. Mediation saves money     Most importantly, the laws in Nepal provide financial benefits to the litigants if they manage to settle disputes on their own. If the parties reach a compromise before a court of law passes orders for evidence collection, then the disputants can get away by bearing only 25 percent of court fees. But if compromise is reached after evidence collection, the parties have to foot 50 percent of the fees. So, dispute settlement through compromise is a better option financially as well. Gray areas Mediators from law, social service or teaching background can help settle disputes. Still, the law is silent on the expertise of mediators, allowing the latter to mediate in civil as well as criminal matters without taking their areas of expertise and interest into consideration. There is a practice of maintaining a single roster of mediators instead of keeping separate rosters of mediators for civil, matrimonial matters, or criminal cases. Mediation will be more effective if mediators choose specific areas of specialization and limit themselves to those areas. In the state’s interest Yet, Nepal’s law appears to be progressive for a number of reasons. Firstly, the laws intend to promote amicable settlements through compromise. Second, it gives a strong and clear message that dispute resolution through compromise is better than the disposal of cases through court proceedings. Moreover, the deed of compromise is cost-effective, speedy and agreement ad idem. Also, alternate dispute resolution mechanism is in the interest of the state as it helps to end litigations (Interest rei publicae ui sit finis litium). It's high time to promote mediation, instead of recourse to court cases. The governments—federal, provincial and local bodies—need to invest in promoting mediation mechanisms. Such type of intervention is more needed in Madhesh as courts there are flooded with litigations. The author is a Judicial Officer at Dhanusha District Court, [email protected]

In his seminal work “To Have or To Be”, Erich Fromm spoke of the ‘having mode’ and the ‘being mode’. James March too speaks of the distinction between being externally motivated, working for specific ‘accomplishments’ or ‘good consequences’ versus following the energy arising from within one’s ‘identity’. According to March, cultivating, recognizing and giving one the freedom to dance with self-belief provides freedom to make mistakes and to appear fearlessly foolish. This trade-off between consequential thinking and identity thinking enables us to practice the ‘spiritual’ audacity of a Don Quixote or a Forrest Gump. Clarissa Pinkola Estes articulates, “Dwelling free means to follow the divine impulse, to live in a way that is not restricted to what others say and insist on, but to follow one's broadest, deepest sense about how to be, to grow, and live.” Moving with one’s self-belief and identity is not a debilitating unproductive space. The energy comes from the union of both passion and disciplined application. Remember Gump with his uncommon destiny of the unpredictable feather floating around him? Everything that Forrest does is with a sense of purpose—albeit, a differently-enabled identity, which is disarmingly self-validating of his shortcomings; yet preciously embedded with a dogged-discipline. There is imagination, persistence, and joy as Forrest ventures out of his adolescent cocoon. An unusual imagination as he makes his choices when to run or pause. A persistence as he strives to fulfill his dharma toward himself, Bubba and Bubba’s family, lieutenant Dan, his mother, his love Jenny and his son Forrest Junior. There is visible confidence manifest in things he does like when he is running away from the bullies in school. It is through this experiencing of inner assurance that he is able to bring succor and joy in the lives of significant others. Clarissa Pinkola Estes further describes this as “a journey to find a truer selfhood; one that cannot be easily corrupted by the outer world, or by time. The impulse fulfills a longing to unearth and reveal one's greatest and deepest shadows and gifts. It provides the balances required for a person to feel one thing especially—contentment”. In the outcomes of many myths, this neglected self so often proves to be the trove of heroic treasures—just right for the conflicts and courageous efforts needed to meet aggressive challenges and to give birth to the kinder, more tender, elegant and more strengthened self. Many a time our mindfulness wanders off, and makes us participate in dramas and in characters that are not related to our values of who we intrinsically purport to be to live heroic lives. We carry pretensions of superficial, quasi-cultural art and glamor-brands instead of elegance. Through this decadent lens we value people, food, things and qualify beauty. We tag talent and pleasure based on how much it cost, and exchange of crass favors and a crafty drift instead of empathetic values. There is a stench in the sweetness of Wilber’s ‘corporate flatland' that ‘professionals and business' often need to mask with artificially concocted benchmarks of ‘quality and goodness’. The timeless archetypes from the old myths that we invoke and connect to in life to negotiate its ups and downs have been almost erased by science, technology, and commerce. In our process to see our world homogenized in terms of currency, lingo, and corporate success stories, and cultural correctness, we sit smugly in our places of work and pleasure while machines slowly bore holes in the ozone layer. We are like Humpty Dumpty, set up to be felled without being put back together again. By shifting our cognitive bandwidth from the internal to the external, from us to me, from elegance to glamor, from health to wealth, from true happiness to indulgence and from kindness to crass indifference and cruelty, we defy our humanness. With a twisted and warped sense of success, we encourage, benchmark, celebrate and idolize the Peaky Blinders and Alfie Solomons of the world spouting unmatched philosophical eloquence devoid of intrinsic moral values. Are we ignoring the uniqueness of our mythos from where we derive our true spiritual strength? Are we ignoring the Don Quixotes and the Forrest Gumps in us? How do we reclaim ourselves from ourselves in order to fulfill our quest from that lie buried within most of us? As Jung questioned us, how do we cultivate the essential attitudes needed to support a quality life of the soul? Our answer may well come from a certain resilience to societal pressures that helps a person to become and to grow and live in the deepest and the most sacred sense.

You are invited to a party. If you could have your way, you wouldn’t go. But your family insists that you tag along. Reluctantly, you join them. No sooner have you arrived, someone at the gate decides that the best way to greet you is by commenting on your body weight or how you’ve become ‘unapproachable’ because you don’t show up anywhere. How you choose to respond will change the course of your life. We don’t exist in a vacuum but in social contexts. There’s no escaping other people. And so, being around other people means being stimulated—either for better or for worse by their words and actions. A few examples of the latter: You genuinely ask a colleague how their holiday was and they remark rather sarcastically: “I wasn’t even gone for that long!” You tell your partner what’s been bothering you but they seem to be more interested in scrolling their phone. You tell your parents why you don’t like doing certain things but they equate that with how ungrateful you are for all the struggles they had whilst raising you. And the list goes on. Let’s go back to the earlier story. You’ve been greeted with scorn and disapproval. Or that’s what you think. However you interpret your relative’s words, you already sense a disconnection. What you say next can change your world because you can choose either to suffer in silence and hate yourself for agreeing to come to the party in the first place or contribute to the violence by retaliating with hurtful words in turn or choose the route of ‘emotional intelligence’. What does choosing the route of emotional intelligence mean? For starters, it means recognizing that in every interaction, you have a choice—whether to act maturely in a way that contributes to the needs of everyone involved or, take things personally and make things worse (either by suffering in silence or participating in violence). What will determine what we will do in that situation with our relatives is the mindset that we find ourselves in. Okay, something unpleasant was directed at us. What do we see now? Do we see an obstacle in front of us that needs to be eliminated or do we, despite not agreeing with their idea of an icebreaker, see a person who is probably trying to meet their need for connection (albeit in a terrible way of expressing the need)? This moment of choice—to either see an obstacle or a person with unmet needs—shapes what we will do next. But does emotional intelligence mean being nice even when we have been treated harshly? How will the other person learn if we let him/her ‘get away’ from their negative impact? These are valid questions. Emotional Intelligence doesn’t mean we ‘act nice’ or always conform to the sort of messages of toxic positivity we see around us. To be emotionally intelligent is to simply take a step back from the grip of the emotions we might feel after our relative says those things and to ask ourselves: How am I feeling? What are my options? What do I really want? Depending on our personal life experiences, we might have different answers to the first question. But what will be common for all of us, if we approach the situation with emotional intelligence, is to realize that a mature response involves aligning the first and the third. You see, without awareness, we end up acting out on our emotions in a way that takes us away from our real goal. For example, perhaps the relative genuinely wanted to connect with us. But as soon as they saw us, they were reminded of the times we skipped family gatherings in the last year. As a result, they felt frustrated and so, in the grip of that strong emotion, said things that were harmful for us to hear, so much so that now we just don’t want to see them anymore. Instances like these are abundant around us. We might feel incredibly discouraged, or take personal responsibility for the choice we have to approach situations characterized by strong emotions, opposing views, and high stakes with insight, intention, and purpose. Of course, this choice isn’t easy because there are a few vital skills we will need to navigate this tricky situation. What we need is the ability to recognize how we are feeling and label it accurately. We must also connect how we feel with an underlying need and be able to make an empathic guess about the other person’s feelings and needs. Then there’s the ability to communicate our needs clearly and calmly and listen to the feelings and needs of the other person without making it about us. And above all, it’s important to cultivate the ability to not take it personally if the other person doesn’t want to go through this process of difficult conversation just yet. Next time you find yourself in a tricky situation, remember that your approach—to see either a person in front of you or an obstacle that needs to be eliminated—will affect what you say next. And what you say next can change your world. The author is co-founder of My Emotions Matter, an education initiative that helps individuals and teams learn the mindset and skills of Emotional Intelligence. You can learn more at myemotionsmatter.com.