Submit your Article

It is a truth universally acknowledged that parents discipline you but grandparents pamper you. Studies have shown that there are many emotional, spiritual, and physical benefits of a healthy grandparent-child relationship. Apart from having someone else besides your parents to depend on, grandparents provide an essential link to one’s roots and traditions. On the other hand, having grandchildren makes the older generation more active, willing to learn new things, and more likely to protect their health. For Dajiram Ghimire, 75, a resident of Boudha, Kathmandu, his grandchildren are his sources of happiness and excitement. He regularly visits a little park near his home with his nine-year-old granddaughter and four-year-old grandson so that they can frolic about on their bikes. It’s the best thing in the world, he says. “They don’t even look for their parents when they are with me,” he adds. Ghimire looks forward to these precious chunks of time with his grandchildren, which give him a much-needed purpose in life. Mira Bastakoti, 54, who runs a cafe with her husband in Boudha, Kathmandu, says her three-year-old granddaughter looks for her whenever she isn’t around. ‘Aama jaane’ (take me to my grandmother) is one of her favorite phrases. The three-year-old is often brought to the cafe by her parents and Bastakoti can be seen taking her around, proudly introducing her to some regular customers. “I feel terrible when I can’t be there for her when she needs me. There are times when she calls me crying,” says Bastakoti. She confesses she wants to fulfill her granddaughter’s demands, no matter how unreasonable they are, as she just can’t see the little one sad. Grandparents are naturally inclined to love and care for their grandchildren. But how a grandchild feels about his grandparents often depends on several factors like how close his parents are with them, physical distance while growing up, and how involved their grandparents are in their lives. A sense of closeness while growing up seems to be essential in creating stronger bonds between grandchildren and parents. Seventeen-year-old Anjana Neupane, a student living in Kathmandu, says that her grandmother means more to her than her own mother. She grew up with her in Chitwan before her parents migrated to Kathmandu. “I remember staying with my grandmother when my mother used to visit her parents. We would do everything together and I miss those days,” she says. There are several memories of her grandmother that are close to Neupane’s heart, but one she particularly remembers is how her grandmother would often secretly give her money without her parents finding out. Despite not having a lot of money, her grandmother always made sure she had some to give to Neupane. Even now, when she visits her grandmother, some notes are pressed into her hands. Neupane kept the Rs 100 note her grandmother once gave her for years. She could not bring herself to use it. “She gave that to me with so much love and I didn’t feel like giving it away,” she says. Grandparents often have a way of telling their grandchildren how much they love them and just how much they mean to them without actually saying a word. It’s in the small details, like a Rs 100 note tucked into your pocket, a handful of chocolates someone gave them that they saved because they know you like those, or the way they proudly show your picture to anyone and everyone. Susan Bosak, the author of ‘How To Build The Grandma Connection’, says those who have strong ties with involved, caring grandparents have higher self-esteem, better emotional stability, stronger social skills (including an ability to withstand peer pressure), and enhanced academic performance. Pasang Lama, a 20-year-old student who was raised by his grandparents in Sindhuli before he came to Kathmandu, says his grandmother is funny and lightens things up at home. Out of all the things they did together, he says he always recalls the way his grandmother used to wake him up. “She would always be angry at me for being lazy and would throw some stones on the tin roof to wake me up with the noise,” he says, “Her scolding me was her way of showing love. It still is. It means she cares.” There is no denying that having grandparents makes parenting a whole lot easier. No one will love and care for your child the way you do but you can be assured that your parents will do a lot more. Since grandparents usually don’t have intense work commitments, they can give the time and undivided attention which can be challenging for tired, busy parents. You don’t necessarily have to live with or see your grandchildren frequently to love them immensely, says Poshraj Subedi, a 60-year-old resident of Dhapasi, Kathmandu, whose granddaughter was born six months ago in Denver, Colorado in the US. “The moment she was born, I realized I would never love anyone the way I love my little granddaughter,” he says. He calls them twice every day, just to see his granddaughter and ask his son how she’s doing. “I can’t wait to meet her and take her out for a stroll like every other grandfather does,” says Subedi who is planning to visit soon this year. Sixteen-year-old Samar Lama, who currently lives in Kathmandu, agrees physical distance doesn’t matter if the bond is strong. He is quite close to his maternal grandparents who live in Sarlahi. Lama says he didn’t grow up with his grandparents but he talks to them frequently and he loves them a lot. He was only a few months old when his grandparents saw him for the first time. Their house was a little far from the bus station, so his family had to change buses to get there. “But my grandfather couldn’t wait to see me so he walked for two hours just to meet us at the bus station,” he says. While the rest went home in a vehicle, his grandfather put him on his shoulders and walked back home. Since 2016, Global Pathshala, a school in Thimi, Bhaktapur, has been organizing Grandparent’s Day. Sabita KC, the coordinator, says the benefits of the event are two-fold. The children get to see that their grandparents are there for them. The grandparents are grateful to be able to spend some quality time with their grandchildren. “We believe it fosters a better relationship between them,” says KC. Unfortunately, not everyone has the privilege of having a good relationship with their grandchildren. Nanda Kumari Joshi, an 85-year-old living in an old age home, at Manavsewa Ashram in Raniban, Kathmandu, has been waiting for her grandson to take her home for almost a year. Every day, she wakes up believing that her grandson will take her home that particular day. Ram Krishna Khadka, 67, is also looking forward to living with her daughter, who has recently relocated to Qatar. He raised his granddaughter for 12 years before voluntarily coming to the old age home. He lived with his granddaughter in Kalanki, Kathmandu, but that changed when he woke up one day with the right side of his body paralyzed. His granddaughter now lives with her stepbrothers and Khadka has been waiting for her to call him for the past year. “I remember taking her to the zoo and museums on holidays. When I couldn’t, we would spend the day watching TV,” he recalls. He says he loves her even though she hasn’t tried to contact him. Dr Niranjan Panta, a physician who volunteers at the ashram, says since most of the residents wanted to live with their children and grandchildren, being deprived of it left many of them depressed. Dr Panta says mental and physical health issues are common in old age but it’s a lot more manageable when they are surrounded by their loved ones. “They start having a positive outlook on life, and they are much more likely to be healthy,” he says.  

My name is Spandan Roka Magar. After passing my grade eight from my village I came to Kathmandu. More than my wish, my father desires to admit me to a good school in Kathmandu City, the capital of Nepal. Now, I am pleased to be here at Neric Academy. It is like a dreamland for newcomers who are like me. My principal, Mana Khatri, is our class teacher. He teaches us a new subject Samajik Adhyan. I called it new because we were studying social studies in junior grades in English medium. It was suitable for us in English but when it came in Nepali, it became very difficult for us. The terms we could understand in English are not comprehensible to us in Nepali. And, we forget them in a very short period. To teach this subject, a teacher needs knowledge and skills both at once. On the one hand, I was from the village. So my English was not so good. On the other hand, Social Studies was in Nepali, and my Nepali writing and reading were also not excellent. Because of my ethnic background also, I was lacking behind in my studies, in my opinion. The first day, when I came to Neric Academy, I was in a dilemma; whether to go to the classroom or not. In the school with a large compound I was feeling lonely, despite my auntie and uncle being there to drop me off. Once the Assembly got over, I looked outside from the Principal’s office window. I found some friends who were taking baskets and roaming around the school grounds. Some of the others were in the garden side and junior blocks. They were collecting rappers, papers, and pebbles. They were quite excited. Later I watched the walls of the school building, they were fully decorated and full of popular decorations. Among them, I read one, “If you want to reach the honey, make a company of bees. And, if you want to reach the garbage, make a company of flies.” Then I immediately decided to go to the class. When I reached the classroom, I could not feel it was the classroom. It was like my home. The walls were full of traditional items like; Dali, Doko, Namlo, Madani, Kodalo, Madal, Damphu, Halo, Juwa, Kucho, Chimta, and so on. Wow! I loved the class. It was a unique way of decorating the classroom. It was like a heritage in reality. Later, I talked to my friends, and they said that all were collected by the students of grade nine. I found them very cooperative. Even in the subject discussion, project works, assignment correction, and games and sports, they were (are) supportive. I felt it was the school I was looking for. I thanked my dad by heart! In comparison to my previous school, it is a bit strict in discipline. It does not make us only memorize the lines of books, it involves us in daily activities. It encourages us to take risks and responsibilities. It teaches us to be accountable too through assembly conductions, house wall magazines, classroom decorations, games and sports, projects, and programs. I also took part in assembly conductions and school prefects and election processes. Now, I feel I have been receiving sufficient exposure to sharpen my mind, fill my heart and develop my thoughts. Finally, I must say thank you to my Dad, uncle and auntie once again. Your contribution will be my success! Thank you once again to Neric Academy. Name: Spandan Roka Magar Neric Academy, Shankhamul Grade: 9

A little while ago I read ‘Finlay Donovan is Killing It’ by Elle Cosimano and I absolutely fell in love with Finlay and Cosimano’s sharp writing. In it, Finlay is overheard discussing the plot of her new suspense novel over lunch with her agent and she’s mistaken for a contract killer and hired to kill someone. Finlay isn’t a murderer and has no intentions of actually killing anyone. But somehow, the man ends up dead, in Finlay’s garage. The plot is a laugh riot and it just consumes you. I was disappointed when I didn’t get the second part of the series, ‘Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead’ at bookstores around town as soon as I finished the first book. When I saw a slightly bruised copy of the book at a bookstore in Civil Mall in Kathmandu, I didn’t hesitate a second before buying it even though I like my copies to be pristine when I get them. I was so excited. ‘Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead’ takes off where the first book ended. I would recommend you read the first book before picking it up otherwise you won’t be able to keep up with the storyline and it might get a bit confusing. In the second book of the series, Finlay has to figure out who wants her ex-husband dead to try and save him. But he’s not ready to believe her and actually thinks that she is the one behind all the ‘accidents’ he keeps getting into, and that complicates things even more. Also, Finlay is on a deadline. Her editor wants a certain number of words in an impossibly short time. Again, she finds her fiction work bordering on the truth. Finlay can only hope it doesn’t eventually get her sent to jail. But Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead lacks the charm and the wit of the first book. The sense of urgency that was there in the first one is missing in this one. It also lacks a clearly defined plot. There is a lot happening but it takes the story nowhere. There are random little incidents that don’t tie up. Instead, it feels like vignettes of Finlay’s life. That wouldn’t have been a problem had Finlay been as interesting as she was in the first book. But here she seems like a pawn in a game controlled by someone else rather than her smart self. Call me crazy, I’m still going to read the third book in the series ‘Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun’. I loved the first book in the series and I’m hoping Finlay gets her mojo back. Two and a half stars Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead Elle Cosimano Published: 2022 Publisher: Headline Review Pages: 357, Paperback

Sushant Ghimire has been singing since he was in the third grade. It has always been his hobby. But little did he know that this hobby would soon become his career. The 27-year-old is a rising talent in the Nepali music industry. He got into the industry in 2017 and released his first song, ‘Pari’, in 2021. Since then, he says, he has aimed to learn as he works and experience everything this field has to offer. Born in Dharan, Ghimire grew up in Biratnagar, Morang. After contesting in a singing competition and coming in second, he realized he could sing. Since then, he made sure to participate in any event that provided him an opportunity to sing. “But I never planned on becoming a singer,” he says. Coming from a family of engineers, Ghimire says, he had made up his mind to become one himself since his school days. His parents too expected him to become an engineer. More than him being interested in this field, he says, it was his way of following in his family’s footsteps. He was already enrolled in one of the engineering colleges in Kathmandu. “I think I never sat down and asked myself what I wanted to be when I grew up,” he says. It was after meeting the team members of Mantra Guitar, a guitar shop in Nepal, that his life took a different turn. “They made becoming an artist sound so exciting,” says Ghimire. Mantra Guitar planned to establish a Mantra Artists Fund that supports young and aspiring Nepali musicians. They were looking for young artists and they saw a lot of potential in Ghimire to become one. “I wasn’t confident that I could become a singer. But knowing that I would get to be around like-minded people made me want to take them up on their offer,” he says. It started with small gigs. His first performance was at Fat Monk’s Bar in Thamel, Kathmandu. The audience, he says, enjoyed his music, and seeing people appreciate his talent gave him the motivation he required to continue on his musical journal. He sang from seven in the evening until midnight. He says he would often not notice time passing by because he was so engrossed in his performances. Soon, he decided to quit engineering and become a full-time musician. His family, on the other hand, wasn’t aware of any of this. “I wanted to gain at least some recognition before I told them I had quit engineering,” he says. He let them know five years later. Although they were shocked at first, Ghimire says, his family members have come to accept his decision. Collaborating with Mantra Artists, he released his first song in 2021. Recording in a studio was a completely different yet exciting experience. “I wanted to learn what goes on in a studio while recording a song. The more songs I recorded, the more I got to learn,” he says. Growing up listening to Bollywood music, he says, has had a huge influence on the kind of songs he likes to compose. “Almost every song I write has a classical base,” he says. And he likes to compose songs both in Nepali and Hindi. Some people, he says, have questioned him for composing Hindi songs. “I believe language should never be a barrier for any artist. I have listened to and sung Hindi songs all throughout my childhood. So if singing in this language helps me express myself better, I won’t hesitate to do it,” he says. When it comes to working on lyrics, Ghimire says that he doesn’t have a specific writing process. “I write what I feel,” he says. He believes that his songs depend on the emotional state he is in while working on them. He has a habit of carrying a notebook and pen around just so he can jot down the lines that come to mind whenever and wherever he is. It’s the same with melodies. There are times when he has abruptly parked on the side just so he can record a melody that’s just spontaneously come to him. “I don’t compose a song based on one melody that pops into my mind,” he says. Rather, he fits in those melodies somewhere in the middle of a song. “I have used almost every melody I have come up with,” he says. Ghimire says he loves being a part of the music industry and that pursuing music was perhaps his best decision ever. “I have finally found myself,” he says. He is currently pursuing a bachelor’s degree in ethnomusicology at Kathmandu University’s Department of Music. Unlike engineering, studying music, he says, comes naturally. Ghimire is undecided about what exactly he will do in the future. But he knows he will be involved in making music in one way or the other. He doesn’t want to bind himself with strict goals. He would rather just go with the flow and see where the path leads him. “But I’m looking forward to learning new things and making good music,” he says.