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Samyak [name changed] works at an advertising firm. Not long before organizations had to switch to work-from-home again due to the second wave of COVID-19, his team had been working hard to finalize an ad campaign for a client. However, he and his colleagues realized that it took a lot of work to impress them because they had been quite picky about the designs in the past.

As his team discussed the campaign idea with the client, it was rejected in one go. The client expressed that they had better expectations and suggested more than half a dozen changes. Samyak was discouraged and frustrated, and so was his team. They had to make changes to their work and do so in a short period.

The team started working to incorporate the changes that the client expected. However, they grew more resentful in the days that followed.

The solution

The deadline was closing in on the team, but there seemed to be no real progress in their work. Samyak and his colleagues started sidelining the campaign, focusing more on the client’s shortcomings. They were operating from a self-focused mindset. They saw the client as an obstacle to overcome since they often suggested changes close to project deadlines. It challenged the team on the creative front since they needed more time to brainstorm and execute new ideas.

Soon enough, Samyak realized it wasn’t working out. As an individual keen on looking at situations through the lens of Emotional Intelligence, Samyak thought he could intervene despite his initial slip up and resentment toward the client. He decided to talk to his team members.

As he held space for his colleagues to express what was bothering them, they shared how they considered the rework unnecessary and started blaming the client. “Nothing ever can impress them!” “They always do this!” “So inconsiderate!” “Why can’t they stick to one thing? Why do they always keep making so many changes? Are we supposed to read their minds?” Many judgments found their way to the surface, but Samyak decided to delve deeper. He thought of helping himself and his colleagues transform those judgmental thoughts into helpful insights to overcome the self-focused mindset. Samyak sat down to discuss some key points with his colleagues.

What really happened in the situation?

Rather than remaining stuck in complaining about their client, talking about the problem ceaselessly, and misinterpreting the incident, Samyak redirected the discussion to address what really had happened.

The team agreed that they worked on a campaign on which the client gave them some feedback, and they had five days to make the changes and present their work to the client again.

How did they feel about the situation?

After helping his team members separate their judgments, interpretations, and complaints from what had happened, he also asked everyone to reflect on their feelings.

He and his colleagues shared how they were discouraged, frustrated, and angry. A little while later, a team member shared, “The client is inconsiderate. Of course, we would feel angry!”

What were they needing?

Samyak was cautious that his team members might blame their feelings on the client because that’s what we usually think. We hold other people entirely responsible for how we feel.

Samyak was aware of the Emotional Intelligence principle that other people’s words or actions can only trigger feelings in us, but they aren’t responsible for how we feel. He helped his team members understand that their feelings of discouragement, frustration, and anger were, to some extent, triggered by the client, but the actual cause of those feelings was their needs. We feel pleasant emotions when our needs are met and unpleasant emotions when our needs are unmet.

Once Samyak helped his colleagues understand this principle, they eventually identified that their frustrations, discouragement, and anger came from unmet needs for consideration, respect, creativity, understanding, and client support.

What concrete actions and agreements would be helpful?

To meet their needs better in the days to come, the team identified the following actions: Asking for the required time to incorporate change requests made close to the project deadline; discussing with the client about the urgent project changes if extending the project deadline isn’t possible. It would help them in giving priority to what’s necessary; setting realistic and mutually feasible project deadlines in the future; working in multiple iterations with the client so that there’s enough time to make changes if/when required; d) Understanding the client’s needs rather than blaming them for being inconsiderate, self-serving, etc.

The result

This incident is an insightful example of how we start operating from a self-focused mindset when we remain stuck in complaining, blaming, and seeing people as objects.

The next day, Samyak and his team had a brief discussion with the client regarding the challenges they were facing and the concrete actions they could take to make working with each other more fruitful. As a result of the emotionally intelligent solution that Samyak sought, his team could communicate clearly with the client, this time with an impact-focused mindset.

They could even transform some of the client’s judgments into the underlying needs that they might have had. For instance, when the client said, “We can’t just waste so much time only discussing what we need to do,” what Samyak and his team heard was “We need efficiency. It helped them mutually decide how they would like to hold their future meetings to spend more time working on the campaign than discussing what to do. Similarly, when the client remarked, “We expected you to show us better work,” Samyak sensed what the client was trying to say—We need your support and expertise to help our end users to understand our brand clearly. As a result, Samyak and his team became more curious to understand what the client was expecting and how they could add value to those expectations through their work.

Operating from an impact-focused mindset helped Samyak’s team to cooperate with the client back and forth. His team and the client better understood each other’s feelings, needs, and expectations. They also created some mutual agreements, making it easier for them to work together.

When we operate with a self-focused mindset, we sometimes hear judgments and criticisms (even if that is not the other person’s intention). An impact-focused mindset helps us in two key aspects. It helps us identify ways to cooperate and invite cooperation from others by helping us hear the unmet needs behind any (of their) judgment. It helps us understand what individuals need from us.

Working with people certainly comes with challenges because each of us has different needs and expectations. With a self-focused mindset, we make working together more challenging because we see each other as objects. We don’t consider that they also have feelings, needs, challenges, and expectations. On the contrary, we can ease the challenge of working together with an impact-focused mindset, which helps us see that other people are people too.

Questions for reflection

If you’re having judgmental thoughts toward someone in a situation, ask yourself what has really happened and how you are feeling? Which needs are those feelings coming from? What concrete actions/agreements would be helpful?

What will happen if you continue to operate from a self-focused mindset?

The author is the Linchpin at My Emotions Matter, an education initiative that helps individuals and teams learn the mindset and skills of Emotional Intelligence. You can learn more at myemotionsmatter.com

After the general elections held in November last year, the CPN-UML and CPN (Maoist Center) came together to form a coalition government. But the partnership was short-lived, as the two parties fell out over the presidential nominee. Prime Minister Pushpa Kamal Dahal formed a new coalition with the Nepali Congress, consigning the UML to the opposition benches. On Tuesday, UML Chairman KP Sharma Oli spoke in length with Kamal Dev Bhattarai, Akhanda Bhandari and Sambhu Kattel of Annapurna Media Network. Excerpts:

Is the CPN-UML playing an effective role as an opposition?

The CPN-UML is the only party which has a clear vision and mission of nation-building. There has been sufficient discussion on ‘Prosperous Nepal, Happy Nepali’ which is and should be the destination of Nepal. The UML has always been clear about this destination and the route to get there. We are also the only party which has a clear position on internal issues such as political, economic and social policies, as well as matters relating to maintaining the external relations. Keeping the welfare of the people and nation at the forefront, we will and have been raising these issues in parliament and streets. So, from this point of view, our role as an opposition remains effective and impactful. We are also playing a vital role to make the government accountable on national issues.

What is your take regarding the government’s anti-corruption initiative?

Selective opening of some corruption files is nothing but a political stunt. The government’s corruption drive is aimed at terrorizing and attacking political opponents. This is not a genuine anti-corruption initiative. The only positive thing is that if more corruption files are opened, there will be public pressure to investigate all corruption scandals, which means those who have evaded justice because of power and position will be prosecuted.   

You have raised the issue of alleged corruption that took place in the Maoist cantonments following the 2006 peace agreement,  could you please elaborate on it?

There have been financial misappropriations in the cantonment. Initially, the Maoist claimed that they had around 34,000 combatants, but the United Nations Mission in Nepal verified only 19,000. Approximately 1,300 combatants were integrated into the national army. But in the initial days, the Maoist leadership took the allowance for all the combatants they claimed they had. Today, the Maoist party-led government is talking about probing corruption scandals, but it has shown any initiative to investigate the corruption that took place in the management of Maoist cantonments. 

When you were in the government, you formed a panel to investigate the Lalita Niswas land grab case, but you didn’t initiate any probe into alleged cantonment corruption. Why?

I was not in a position of taking such a decision from the Cabinet at the time. Yes, I was the prime minister but the party [the erstwhile Nepal Communist Party (NCP) was, in a way, run by the Maoist factions. Later, they left the party.

Is there a chance of the case being investigated in the coming days?

The key factor is public opinion. What will the public say? The lone effort from my party is insufficient. But we believe that there should be impartial investigations into all corruption cases. There shouldn’t be a selective approach like today. Also, I would like to emphasize that it was my government that had started the investigation into Lalita Niwas land grab case.

You oppose Maoist Chair Dahal now, but you and your party did support him as a prime minister.

I took such a decision in order to correct the devastating course of national politics, not the course of our party. But the Maoists did not feel comfortable collaborating with us. So, they decided to part ways with the UML.

Do you think the current corruption investigation is aimed at the main opposition party?

Yes, it is targeted at us, but it will go in vain. Once again, I would like to stress that whoever is involved in corruption must be investigated. 

Let’s talk about the intra-party issue. You introduced the 70 years age limit for the party leader through statutory changes, which recently omitted. What is the reason?  

The provision was omitted because the party deemed it unnecessary. No other parties have such a provision, but the UML decided to put it to the test. We wanted to see whether it could be useful in our party’s context. We removed the age limit after listening to the voice of our colleagues. I can assure you that the decision has not caused any damage to the party. 

But there are talks that by removing the age limit, you want to stay in party leadership for an indefinite period.

I am always seeking an exit from the main leadership of the party. But if some individuals think that they would feel more comfortable had I not been the chairman of the UML, that is a different issue entirely. There is no need to comment on it because it was I who had introduced the age limit provision and it was removed as requested by the party colleagues.

Are there any chances of Bam Dev Gautam returning to the UML?  What position is he likely to get?

We should not focus on the issue of position. Everyone, everywhere is seeking a position and money, this is spoiling the environment. People should be free from money and position.

How do you see the emergence of new parties like the Rastriya Swatantra Party?

The people who are in the party leadership do not have political backgrounds. They are new to politics, without old people as members. So they are picking young people as parliamentarians and in other party departments. They are yet to be tested and their ideology is unclear. 

Do you think new parties pose a challenge to old parties like the UML?  

I don’t consider the new parties as a challenge. They may win some seats, but they are yet to have a robust party structure. They may form committees from the center right down to the grassroots level, but it won’t be a big deal. It is just a process of forming a party. They are criticizing the traditional political parties and their leaders now, but they don’t have anything that they can call it an accomplishment. They have no history and no ideology. But that is not to say that our party is intolerant towards new parties. 

After the election,the UML launched a grassroots campaign to rally supporters. How effectively was the mission, and is it true that the party members have gone down?

It is just a rumor spread by our detractors. The impact of mission grassroots has been very effective, and this will reflect in the result of 2027 general elections. 

You took the leadership to issue a new political map of Nepal by incorporating the disputed territories of Kalapani, Lipulek and Limiyadhura, but there has not been any progress in talks with India. What is your take on it?

We can get our land if we move ahead with substantive talks. The boundary issue should not be blown up unnecessarily and out of proportion by making it a matter of victory and defeat.

Akhanda Bharat and Greater Nepal have found prominence in recent times, how do you see it?

We should not engage in such sentimental and short-lived populist agenda. It will just increase tensions.

How do you rate the performance of the present government in maintaining international relations?   

The government has failed to conduct its foreign policy, there is a mess and there is imbalance. This government is just signing documents prepared elsewhere. We should always raise genuine issues including that of boundaries. 

Of late, there are debates that Nepal should abandon its non-alignment policy. What is your view on this?

This is an irresponsible idea. People who are saying such a thing do not understand Nepal’s geopolitics and are unaware about Nepal’s comprehensive welfare. We should remain neutral and we should not join any military blocs. 

The diminution of and deliberation on the Nepali Army is neither contemporary nor should it be a distressing aspect but it emanates as misinforming and inaccurate to the statecraft and to the broader audience. 

In particular, the field of defense is one of the essentials like economy, governance and diplomacy to the country. None of these fields are thriving at present. 

As an instrument of national power of Nepal, the army is the only unswerving and consistent institution in diplomacy, with national and international credibility in addition to remaining as a uniting establishment of the Nepalis.

Reading between the lines

While floating expenditure reduction measures in the federal parliament, Bimala Rai Paudyal, one of the three candidates that the then then President Bidya Devi Bhandari had appointed to the National Assembly in Feb 2018 and Swarim Wagle, a lawmaker elected under the first-past-the-post system, proposed downsizing the Nepali Army, among other measures, to reduce national expenditure. 

Paudyal underlined the lack of strategic coordination and cooperation amongst the Ministries of Foreign Affairs, Finance and Defense, which is essential for border security. She added that the army had failed in its primary role—protecting the borders, pointing at repeated instances of border encroachment. 

“There’s no war going on within the country and there’s no possibility of either of the neighbors waging a war against the country. In the event of a war with either of the neighbors, there’s no possibility of us withstanding it,” Paudyal said, reasoning that there’s no need to keep a (roughly) 90000-strong army that cannot protect the country.  

Such remarks coming from a lawmaker have tremendously hurt the sentiments and self-esteem of servicemen and women, veterans as well as the citizenry. Soldiers and citizens fight with morale and self-confidence that wells up from their training, education and love for their respective countries. This is something that cannot be measured in monetary terms. 

There are many international examples about vested interests playing a major role in triggering wars. South Asia, for one, witnessed such wars during the 1970s. The recent Russian invasion of Ukraine followed challenges to the Kremlin’s sphere of influence. 

Nepal can face similar consequences, given its geopolitical and geostrategic location. Nepal’s vote as one of the 141 nations in the UN in March 2022 against the Russian aggression is also a visualization of a similar state of affairs along its own borders. 

Lawmaker Paudyal should keep in mind that border security comes under the Ministry of Home Affairs during peacetime and not under the Ministry Defence. So, border violations are the result of a lack of coordination between the Ministries of Foreign Affairs and Home Affairs. 

The national budget for the coming fiscal 2023/24 (totaling 1.751trn) has allocated 14 percent to the security sector—for the defense ministry and the home ministry. 

On its part, the Nepali Army reimburses more than Rs1.7bn as tax to the government from its Welfare Fund apart from bringing in about $22m (Rs 25bn) to the country, which is approximately two percent of the national foreign income of $9.1bn (approx). The national army itself provides another five billion rupees for its educational, medical and welfare programs, which is borne by respective governments in almost all the countries. 

The government budget for the defense ministry appears paltry in comparison to the budget that the Nepali Army deserves for enhancing Nepal’s international prestige by helping maintain world peace through non-aggression and peaceful settlement of disputes as envisioned in the United Nations Charter.

Strategic interpretations

Nepal faces enormous challenges because it lies in the midst of three competing nations— China, India and the US—and one more bloc, the European Union.

History says that no government, no economic system, no currency, no empire lasts forever, yet almost everyone is surprised and ruined when they fall.

Given our physical location, we as a relatively small nation are likely to face serious challenges, contrary to the expectations of many of our political leaders. 

Marked by different political orders, security, economy and digital systems, the world is moving amid confrontations in the South Asian subcontinent and beyond. Cold War 2.0 is ongoing and the competition is palpable along Nepal’s borders unlike in a different continent with dissimilar technological capabilities during the Cold War. 

In this context, the Nepali Army can stand as a stimulating force for geostrategic balance of power in South Asia and beyond. 

Standing power

The Nepali Army is one of the instruments of national power that needs solidification with modernization, strengthening of its capabilities and digitalization, also in view of the fact that the Global Firepower Index 2023 has ranked Nepal 129th out of 145 countries.

The recent comments from political leaders have come without understanding of the unfolding geopolitical environment that may push small nations like Nepal toward deepening political uncertainty. 

In this context, a handful of political leaders making unsavory comments should not forget the role of the national army in upholding national honor and dignity. 

Deduction

At a time when Nepal’s dire prerequisite is to have a united strategic approach toward national interest, foreign policy and national security strategy, hollow comments from parliamentarians are most unwelcome. The Defense Minister has rightly expressed concern over such remarks, which show the lack of awareness on the part of the speakers on the importance of instruments of national power. 

It’s time state instruments like intelligence agencies paid attention to increasing geo-political influence. 

If you ask commoners questions about the role of the political parties and the Nepali Army, they will most definitely reply that the army has been acting as a far more responsible actor in service of the country and the people than the parties. 

National security and prestige cannot be compared with monetary value. Important individuals should bear in mind that impromptu remarks on sensitive topics at wrong places and wrong time do the country a great disservice. 

Downsizing the military is not a wise way to deal with national monetary challenges. 

A number of measures can be taken to manage the budget for national development. Doing away with a costly federal system can be an option. Downsizing the number of elected representatives, reducing the number of ministries and establishing strategic structures for addressing issues of national importance can help at a time of rampant corruption, political instability and loss of national credibility. These measures will bring in enough resources required for national development. 

All concerned must bear in mind that long transition adds up to challenges for national prosperity and stability. 

The author is a Strategic Analyst, Major General (Retd) of the Nepali Army, and is associated with Rangsit University, Thailand

Bakhat Bahadur Thapa is a 58-year-old novelist who began writing at the age of 32. He has written several novels, including ‘Pardesh’, ‘Kuiro ra Kaag’, ‘Kaalchakra’, and ‘Jungey’. He has also penned three short story anthologies. Thapa is a computer hardware technician by profession. In Nepali literature, he has gained fame for his style of using technological expertise to portray societal themes. Babita Shrestha from ApEx spoke to Thapa about his experience as a novelist.

What made you want to write?

After finishing school, I went to India to acquire technical vocational skills. There I struggled a lot. Later, after my return to Nepal, I used to tell my friends about those days and they would listen to me with great interest. One of my friends happened to be a journalist at the time and he asked me to write some stories. That was the turning point for me to pursue a career in writing. But later I couldn’t get in touch with him so I published the work myself. That was how ‘Pardesh’ came out in 2001. 

How many books have you published so far?

My first book ‘Pardesh’ is centered on facts regarding the brain-drain in Nepal. It explores various psychological aspects as well as illustrates the plight of Nepalis living abroad. I then published ‘Kuiro ra Kaag’. It’s about polygamy in the western part of Nepal. Following that, I released ‘Kaalchakra’ in 2007. The novel subtly highlights the Maoist insurgency period while making references to the corruption, fraud, and slavery in Nepal. I published ‘Jungey’ in 2014 to reflect the political and economic situation in rural areas in Nepal. After three years, I released its sequel, ‘Jungey ko Diary.’ I authored ‘Deshan’ in 2021. It’s about an epidemic and environmental issues. Besides that, I have written three collections of short stories, including ‘Computer Aatanka’, ‘Sheershak Sangai Sarita’ and ‘Aaghat’.

Can you run us through your writing process?

The majority of storylines and events are inspired by incidents I experience. Turning many social situations into fiction, in my opinion, is the primary method of creating a novel. Take ‘Pardesh’ for instance. My experiences of traveling from Dailekh to Delhi, as well as my first encounter with electricity, trains, and electrical devices, have all been turned into a novel. Simple events establish a plot and I embellish it with words and my own sense of style. As I write, I also strive to balance the plot with themes, give the words a deep meaning, and use figurative and metaphorical language.

Being a novelist yourself, what sorts of novels do you enjoy the most? Are there any authors or novels that have had a significant impact on your writing?

For me, reading literature is about making room to educate, entertain, and inform oneself. So I like novels which embrace social issues, impart knowledge, and have logic. I enjoy narratives that are humorous. I’m passionate about reading. I became a fan of Diamond Sumsher Rana after reading ‘Seto Baag’. I also enjoy reading Maxim Gorky. He is another one of my favorite authors. What really impresses me about these author’s works is how well they portray the story while incorporating fresh vocabulary and deep implications.

What is the most rewarding aspect of being a novelist?

When people acknowledge me for my contributions, I consider that to be my greatest success. There was a time when I had to go to Tribhuvan University to fix a computer. The person I was supposed to meet didn’t recognize me at first but she later came up to me to ask if my stories were included in the Grade 12 curriculum. When I confirmed her suspicions, she told me that I was well-known throughout the institution. Hearing that was like music to my ears.

Thapa’s Picks

‘Alikhit’ by Dhruba Chandra Gautam

It’s Nepali fiction first published in 1983. It’s the story set in an unidentified village in the Tarai region of Nepal.

‘Aama’ by Maxim Gorky 

The Nepali translation of Mother by Maxim Gorky was published in 2018. It’s a story about the lower class women working in a Russian factory and it highlights the struggles and poverty of the society in the Russian Empire.