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I’m a 35-year-old man. For the last 10-15 years, I have constantly worried that something bad might happen. I seek advice from many people about my problems, but I struggle to trust their perspectives and can’t decide what to do. Even after solving problems, I don’t feel happy and quickly start worrying about new issues, feeling sad again. My mind fixates on problems, preventing me from taking definitive actions or sticking to my decisions because I fear there might be more problems. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health 

Constant worry, indecision, and an inability to feel content even after resolving problems might be signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). For those with GAD, managing worries can be incredibly tough, impacting everyday decisions and overall well-being. These worries often span many areas of life and can feel overwhelming without a clear reason. People with GAD often tend to expect the worst, thinking that one negative event means more are on the way. This mindset can make it hard to trust others’ advice and make decisions, leading to more anxiety and inaction.

If you’re dealing with GAD, mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can calm your mind and reduce anxiety by keeping you focused on the present. Structured decision-making can also be effective. Listing pros and cons, setting deadlines, and seeking advice from fewer people can prevent feeling overwhelmed. Creating a clear plan for decision-making can bring clarity and direction.

Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment is crucial. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety by keeping you focused on the present. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment for GAD. It helps identify and challenge distorted thinking, promoting healthier thought patterns. A trained therapist can provide tools to manage your anxiety and make more confident decisions, helping reframe catastrophic thoughts into more balanced perspectives and reducing worry.

Seeking professional support from a trained mental health specialist is essential for successfully treating GAD. With the correct treatment and support, you can learn to manage your anxieties, make confident decisions, and live a more rewarding life. Consulting with a psychologist or psychiatrist who can provide individualized support and, if necessary, medication to help control your anxiety is highly recommended.

Taking preventative measures can dramatically improve your mental health and well-being. Seeking treatment is a sign of strength and the first step towards a healthier, more balanced existence.

I’ve been working at a marketing firm for three years. Recently, we got a new manager who micromanages and criticizes without constructive feedback. This has created a tense and demoralizing atmosphere. I feel constantly on edge, undervalued, and stressed. It’s affecting my performance and mental wellbeing. I used to love my job, but now I dread it. The constant criticism without positive reinforcement has made me doubt my abilities and lose confidence. It’s harder to concentrate, and I feel more anxious and overwhelmed each day.

I need to address the issue but I’m unsure how to approach the conversation without being confrontational. I want to express my concerns and propose a more supportive and effective way of working together. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

A new manager who micromanages can make things difficult due to their working style. Micromanagement often arises from the manager’s insecurity and fear of losing control, making it difficult for other employees. The need for attention to small details creates additional challenges for employees. This is a common issue and a source of aggression in management styles.

The psychological aspect to consider is that micromanagement impacts you because it undermines your sense of autonomy. When there is no trust with the manager, and everything seems like an order, it can lead to increased stress and burnout among employees, as one may feel pressured to constantly meet the manager’s expectations. This type of fear can cause workplace anxiety, lack of concentration, and burnout.

You can start by initiating a conversation. Find a suitable time to talk with your manager. When starting the conversation, it’s better to begin with acknowledgement and then discuss the difficulties. Use ‘I’ statements to express how micromanagement is affecting your performance. For example, instead of saying “You are making me feel…,” say “I’m feeling…” This allows you to honestly express what is difficult for you without hiding your feelings.It will become easier to communicate your needs.

Secondly, take care of yourself by balancing work and life priorities and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Engage in activities outside of work that you enjoy. Sharing your experiences with friends, family members, or close ones also helps. Self-care activities such as exercise or listening to music can help you tackle stress. If you feel constant pressure and find it hard to handle, professional help can be beneficial. Seeking help from professionals can help you navigate through personal and work-related stress and burnout.

I recently completed my SEE. Once I get my results, I’ll need to enroll in a new school, meet new people, and begin anew in a different setting. I’ve been with the same friends and teachers at the same school for 10 years, and the thought of having to adapt in an unfamiliar environment is intimidating. How can I overcome my fear of this transition and learn to interact with new people effectively?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

Transitioning into a new school and meeting new people can bring about many emotions. On one hand, it can be incredibly exciting to embark on a new journey, while on the other, it can also feel quite intimidating. After spending 10 years in the same environment, it’s natural to have these mixed feelings. The sense of uncertainty is perfectly understandable and normal. To help ease your mind, let’s delve into the psychological reasons behind why you might be experiencing these emotions and figure out how to navigate through them.

One reason you might be feeling anxious is the fear of the unknown. Our brains are naturally wired to perceive new environments as potential threats, which can trigger anxiety. Additionally, this anxiety might stem from your attachments to familiar surroundings. After spending several years in a stable environment, it’s normal to develop a strong sense of comfort and security. The prospect of change can disrupt this sense of stability, leading to feelings of insecurity and heightened anxiety. Understanding these psychological factors can help you better navigate and manage your emotions during this transition.

Another reason as to why you’re feeling anxious about the transition could be social anxiety, which is the fear of being judged or evaluated negatively by others in a new social setting. You might feel apprehensive about how you will be perceived by your new peers and worry about making a good impression. This fear of negative evaluation can significantly contribute to your overall anxiety. Whether it’s the fear of the unknown, attachment to your familiar surroundings, or social anxiety about how others perceive you, or even a combination of all three, it’s understandable to feel this way.

To address these feelings, one of the first skills to practice is gradual exposure. This technique helps desensitize your fears and build your confidence over time. If you’re transitioning into a new school, you can start by visiting the school in advance, participating in orientation classes, and joining online forums or social media groups with other students attending the same school. This process is similar to dipping your toes into the water before diving in, allowing you to slowly adjust to your new environment and feel more prepared for the change.

Another approach could be enhancing your social skills. Social skills training might be beneficial for you. Practice interacting with new people by engaging with your family members and current friends. Consider attending social skills workshops and joining open club programs where you don’t know anyone. Even if you feel awkward, try to participate. Over time, this will help you become more comfortable with meeting new people.

Another strategy is to focus on the positive. It’s important to recognize that not all of your thoughts need to be negative or uncertain during this transition. Instead, consider yourself as growing and evolving. Redirect your attention from potential negative aspects to a more positive perspective. Think about the new opportunities that come with the new school.

If these strategies aren’t effective and you’re still finding it difficult, consider sharing your feelings with trusted individuals or family members who can offer reassurance. Alternatively, seeking professional help through therapy could be beneficial.

I have a job at my college and an internship elsewhere. Juggling work and studies has caused my social life to suffer, and I’m spending less time with my family. I find it challenging to balance everything, but I worry about missing out on opportunities if I give something up. How can I manage everything while still maintaining my social life and making sure I spend quality time with my family?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

Balancing work, studies, and an internship, alongside maintaining a social life and making time for yourself and family is undoubtedly a challenging feat, especially at your age. It requires exceptional time management skills and dedication. Your effort to juggle these responsibilities and make the most out of each aspect of your life is truly commendable.

There are several psychological factors that might be contributing to your situation, one of which could be perfectionism coupled with a fear of missing out. You might feel the need to excel in everything you do and be the best in every aspect of your life. This can lead to a state of being overly available and constantly on high alert. Such a personality trait is indeed challenging. This often results in taking on multiple roles, which can be emotionally exhausting.

Another reason for your situation could be feelings of guilt and obligation. You may feel guilty about not spending enough time with your family and friends, leading to a persistent sense of obligation. These thoughts create a cycle where you constantly worry about not meeting their expectations. This sense of duty can be overwhelming.

If you feel your situation stems from a fear of missing out at work, which puts you in a constant state of high alert, leading to distraction, stress, and the feeling that there’s never enough time to complete everything, it’s important to reassess your priorities.

Start by prioritizing your tasks and clearly defining what needs to be done, how to do it, and when. Learning and applying effective time management techniques can help significantly. For instance, try time-blocking, where you dedicate specific blocks of time exclusively for work, study, and personal life. This way, you can avoid letting these different aspects of your life overlap and cause further stress.

Communication is also crucial. Try talking to your family and friends, explaining that your work commitments leave you with less time to spend quality time with them. You might be surprised at how understanding and supportive they can be. Without this communication, you might feel even guiltier, thinking your family believes you’re neglecting them, which can lead to feelings of double burden and anxiety. Regularly checking in with them, asking how they’re doing, and ensuring they’re okay in small, consistent interactions can bridge this communication gap and alleviate some of your stress.

You should focus on setting boundaries, especially if you feel overwhelmed by taking on too much at once. Reflect on whether your situation is driven by uncertainty, insecurity, or fear, as understanding this is equally important for your emotional well-being.

Seeking professional support might be beneficial. A therapist can help you manage stress, responsibilities, and provide guidance on coping strategies and techniques to restructure your thought patterns. This professional assistance can be invaluable in navigating your current challenges.