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I’m 28 and I’m dealing with family problems that are affecting my mental health. My parents argue constantly, creating a tense and stressful environment at home. This ongoing conflict makes me feel anxious and distracted, impacting my work and personal life. I’ve been trying to cope by spending more time on hobbies and having honest conversations with my parents about how their conflicts affect me, but the emotional strain remains heavy. I’m seeking suggestions on how to better manage the impact of these family issues on my mental health. What should I do? Please help! 

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

I’m deeply sorry to hear about the difficulties you’re facing. Family conflicts can indeed have a significant impact on mental health, leading to feelings of anxiety, stress, and difficulty concentrating.

From what you’ve shared, your condition might be due to chronic stress and emotional contagion. Chronic stress comes from ongoing family conflicts, keeping your stress levels high and making it hard to relax. Emotional contagion means you absorb and mirror the negative emotions around you, so your parents’ anxiety and tension might be causing you to feel similarly anxious and on edge.

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques could help you calm down. Think of mindfulness as a mental reset button, allowing you to find peace amidst the chaos. Incorporate deep breathing, meditation, or muscle relaxation for 10-15 minutes daily to reduce anxiety and maintain calm.

Establishing boundaries can help protect your mental space. Think of them as a protective fence. Set specific times for family discussions or retreat to a quiet space during arguments. Politely inform your parents that you need personal time to decompress and focus on your well-being.

Self-care is essential. It refuels your energy and strength to face challenges. Engage in hobbies and activities that bring joy and relaxation, like reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. Dedicate time each week for these activities to maintain your mental health.

Lastly, seeking professional help is crucial. A therapist can act as your mental health coach, guiding you through complex family dynamics. Therapy provides a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies. Regular sessions can help you explore feelings, learn stress management techniques, and build resilience. Prioritizing your mental health is essential, and taking proactive steps can significantly improve your overall well-being.

I’m a 35-year-old man. For the last 10-15 years, I have constantly worried that something bad might happen. I seek advice from many people about my problems, but I struggle to trust their perspectives and can’t decide what to do. Even after solving problems, I don’t feel happy and quickly start worrying about new issues, feeling sad again. My mind fixates on problems, preventing me from taking definitive actions or sticking to my decisions because I fear there might be more problems. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health 

Constant worry, indecision, and an inability to feel content even after resolving problems might be signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). For those with GAD, managing worries can be incredibly tough, impacting everyday decisions and overall well-being. These worries often span many areas of life and can feel overwhelming without a clear reason. People with GAD often tend to expect the worst, thinking that one negative event means more are on the way. This mindset can make it hard to trust others’ advice and make decisions, leading to more anxiety and inaction.

If you’re dealing with GAD, mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can calm your mind and reduce anxiety by keeping you focused on the present. Structured decision-making can also be effective. Listing pros and cons, setting deadlines, and seeking advice from fewer people can prevent feeling overwhelmed. Creating a clear plan for decision-making can bring clarity and direction.

Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment is crucial. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety by keeping you focused on the present. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment for GAD. It helps identify and challenge distorted thinking, promoting healthier thought patterns. A trained therapist can provide tools to manage your anxiety and make more confident decisions, helping reframe catastrophic thoughts into more balanced perspectives and reducing worry.

Seeking professional support from a trained mental health specialist is essential for successfully treating GAD. With the correct treatment and support, you can learn to manage your anxieties, make confident decisions, and live a more rewarding life. Consulting with a psychologist or psychiatrist who can provide individualized support and, if necessary, medication to help control your anxiety is highly recommended.

Taking preventative measures can dramatically improve your mental health and well-being. Seeking treatment is a sign of strength and the first step towards a healthier, more balanced existence.

I’ve been working at a marketing firm for three years. Recently, we got a new manager who micromanages and criticizes without constructive feedback. This has created a tense and demoralizing atmosphere. I feel constantly on edge, undervalued, and stressed. It’s affecting my performance and mental wellbeing. I used to love my job, but now I dread it. The constant criticism without positive reinforcement has made me doubt my abilities and lose confidence. It’s harder to concentrate, and I feel more anxious and overwhelmed each day.

I need to address the issue but I’m unsure how to approach the conversation without being confrontational. I want to express my concerns and propose a more supportive and effective way of working together. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

A new manager who micromanages can make things difficult due to their working style. Micromanagement often arises from the manager’s insecurity and fear of losing control, making it difficult for other employees. The need for attention to small details creates additional challenges for employees. This is a common issue and a source of aggression in management styles.

The psychological aspect to consider is that micromanagement impacts you because it undermines your sense of autonomy. When there is no trust with the manager, and everything seems like an order, it can lead to increased stress and burnout among employees, as one may feel pressured to constantly meet the manager’s expectations. This type of fear can cause workplace anxiety, lack of concentration, and burnout.

You can start by initiating a conversation. Find a suitable time to talk with your manager. When starting the conversation, it’s better to begin with acknowledgement and then discuss the difficulties. Use ‘I’ statements to express how micromanagement is affecting your performance. For example, instead of saying “You are making me feel…,” say “I’m feeling…” This allows you to honestly express what is difficult for you without hiding your feelings.It will become easier to communicate your needs.

Secondly, take care of yourself by balancing work and life priorities and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Engage in activities outside of work that you enjoy. Sharing your experiences with friends, family members, or close ones also helps. Self-care activities such as exercise or listening to music can help you tackle stress. If you feel constant pressure and find it hard to handle, professional help can be beneficial. Seeking help from professionals can help you navigate through personal and work-related stress and burnout.

I recently completed my SEE. Once I get my results, I’ll need to enroll in a new school, meet new people, and begin anew in a different setting. I’ve been with the same friends and teachers at the same school for 10 years, and the thought of having to adapt in an unfamiliar environment is intimidating. How can I overcome my fear of this transition and learn to interact with new people effectively?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

Transitioning into a new school and meeting new people can bring about many emotions. On one hand, it can be incredibly exciting to embark on a new journey, while on the other, it can also feel quite intimidating. After spending 10 years in the same environment, it’s natural to have these mixed feelings. The sense of uncertainty is perfectly understandable and normal. To help ease your mind, let’s delve into the psychological reasons behind why you might be experiencing these emotions and figure out how to navigate through them.

One reason you might be feeling anxious is the fear of the unknown. Our brains are naturally wired to perceive new environments as potential threats, which can trigger anxiety. Additionally, this anxiety might stem from your attachments to familiar surroundings. After spending several years in a stable environment, it’s normal to develop a strong sense of comfort and security. The prospect of change can disrupt this sense of stability, leading to feelings of insecurity and heightened anxiety. Understanding these psychological factors can help you better navigate and manage your emotions during this transition.

Another reason as to why you’re feeling anxious about the transition could be social anxiety, which is the fear of being judged or evaluated negatively by others in a new social setting. You might feel apprehensive about how you will be perceived by your new peers and worry about making a good impression. This fear of negative evaluation can significantly contribute to your overall anxiety. Whether it’s the fear of the unknown, attachment to your familiar surroundings, or social anxiety about how others perceive you, or even a combination of all three, it’s understandable to feel this way.

To address these feelings, one of the first skills to practice is gradual exposure. This technique helps desensitize your fears and build your confidence over time. If you’re transitioning into a new school, you can start by visiting the school in advance, participating in orientation classes, and joining online forums or social media groups with other students attending the same school. This process is similar to dipping your toes into the water before diving in, allowing you to slowly adjust to your new environment and feel more prepared for the change.

Another approach could be enhancing your social skills. Social skills training might be beneficial for you. Practice interacting with new people by engaging with your family members and current friends. Consider attending social skills workshops and joining open club programs where you don’t know anyone. Even if you feel awkward, try to participate. Over time, this will help you become more comfortable with meeting new people.

Another strategy is to focus on the positive. It’s important to recognize that not all of your thoughts need to be negative or uncertain during this transition. Instead, consider yourself as growing and evolving. Redirect your attention from potential negative aspects to a more positive perspective. Think about the new opportunities that come with the new school.

If these strategies aren’t effective and you’re still finding it difficult, consider sharing your feelings with trusted individuals or family members who can offer reassurance. Alternatively, seeking professional help through therapy could be beneficial.