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Social sites have lured our sensation and apparently offered us some tangible blessings to ease our lives. Minus social sites, hardly any second of modern-day life can be imagined. From connecting to kith and kin to fellow friends to sharpening the creativity, social sites are acknowledged boundlessly. However, those much-endeared social sites have shed toxic abuses and irreparable multifold losses on the spectrum of sound social life along with fabric of well-formed faiths. Giving us an inch, those have taken away miles causing us plunge into more than dozens of chronic bottlenecks by fermenting exponential enervation on both the individual and social life of mass users. Pluralities of paradoxes and irony have shaped, rather intoxicated and addicted, the new generation into a deeper sense of dismay and negative note.

The foremost paradox of social sites is that they are causing users to spend and waste huge amounts of time for no reason. Many reports are released and those spotlight the fact that most users hang on sites merely for updates, already known news and sharing personal opinion and ideas which might not generate any productive outcomes into either of individual or social life. Brain rot and doom scrolling have festered the situation. As per statistics of 2024, a person spends an average of 143 minutes per day on social media. However, 40 percent of people—who have at least one social media account—feel they have to check them at least once every three hours to avoid feeling anxious. From grandmother to an eight-year-old kid, all are in virtual communities and racing to swipe the newsfeed every 10 minutes. Such an added sense of addiction and intoxication on social sites, thus, obligates people to waste quality time for not any quality output at all.  

Besides waste of time, a serious decline in the creativity of human beings is one of the horrendous impacts of social sites noticed in the last few years. Students have begun to lose the self-generated answers. ChatGPT and Deepseek have converted all curious learning minds into mere a murmuring machine and mute bystander toward self-built analysis or logics. Academicians often have been defamed for plagiarism. Relying on easily available materials on the single click or on tip of a finger, the human mind has retarded and retired from being creative. Being innovative has been intelligibly blocked in the course of being imitative from social sites.  School children to university graduates across the globe have been reportedly losing self-creativity because of excessive reliance on social sites. Most of them have metamorphosed to mundane copy-paste machines.

Following the waste of time and loss of creativity, excess misinformation, which is called infodemics, has browbeaten and created terror on the public domain. Fake news, scams, scandals and unverified personal assumptions have confused people a lot. Many severely shocking news are also posted that have generated negative worldviews, stigmatized people, relegated people to helplessness, uncovered the sense of only decay and destruction everywhere. Often it has worked as psychodemic and apocalyptic terror too.  

Apart from the aforementioned abuses, substantially alarming is that it has even emerged as a new form of war. Authors Emerson Brooking and PW Singer in their book titled ‘Like War: Weaponization of Social Media’ convincingly draw an analogy between modern war fort and social media. It has been heavily used to underestimate others, extend control and undue leverage, belittle or disparage others’ fame, seduce others’ success, defame rest and destroy the image or strength and so on. Any objection will be posted on social media and that shall be responded with a flow of counter likes and dislikes or even much vituperative remarks and comments. 

Crimes and social disorder, sexual misconducts or activities of extreme unethical tempo cannot be denied as the bane of social sites these days. A harrowing scenario of a ballooning graph of family discord and divorce cases noticed in the recent past in Nepal is mostly generated and commenced on the backdrop of social sites. As per a news report, Kathmandu district court alone has 4,400-plus petitions seeking divorce. The cases of divorce count on top of the list among all writs filed in base or district courts nationally. Social sites have fueled disassociation, conspiracy, unwonted connections too, which has spoiled the rhythm of morality and righteous life in the infatuation of happy life. It has crumbled and crushed the ethics in society.  

As social sites avail all types of contents, it equally assists the people having wrong intention and intending to foil the fabric of disciplined society. A research article titled ‘Anti-social Network; Framing Social Media in Wartime’ (2020) mentions that how to hack the password is one of much searched contents in Google. Such a nature of human or social media users drives society into more antisocial modes and intends to break the society than to make it.

Social sites have even inflicted societies through online robbery and other types of frauds, time and again in the name of prizes, lotteries and other types of funds gone unclaimed or secretly deposited to our names by someone else and so on. Cyber bureau of Nepal Police is reportedly receiving about a couple of dozen such complaints of cheating and other frauds daily.

Excessive digital addiction that is eventually resulting in health hazards and psychodemic symptoms are no less worrisome. Extreme depersonalization is what has seriously taken the nerve of the people. Because of social sites, people hardly have time for themselves and families. Being excessively occupied with gadgets brutally kills time that others friends and family members may be seeking.  

More show-ups and filthy promotions in light of social sites have paralyzed the honest nature of human actions and activities. Demeaning social services for mere fantasy and photo shoots have often doubled the spirit of humiliation and marginalization for the rest. Victims have been unnecessarily exposed to society. Whereas posting the exclusively personal activities like family celebrations and wishes on sites have far deviated and digressed the sites from its real use. Rather than attending seminars, posting a photo of it becomes important; rather than taking tea, posting a shot gets prioritized and appealing to the masses. Filthy promotion of personal activities has cultivated a sense of useless competition in meaningless manners among humans.    

In a nutshell, as of 2024, approximately 5.4bn people use social media and it has risked converting this generation as an ‘e-tribe’, a popular term coined by South Korean academic experts in 2006. Being vastly virtual might have blessed us to have little delights from learning to earning as well but have profoundly paralyzed society and caused it to sail at the trajectory of lethargy, laziness, immorality, health-hazards and many other obnoxiously negative notes.  So, let’s be aware of such unsocial outcomes of social sites before it becomes too late to respond. 

Have you ever heard of parasocial relationships? Imagine feeling an intense emotional connection to someone who doesn’t even know you exist. It could be an actor whose movies you never miss, a fictional character you adore, an influencer whose posts feel relatable, or a YouTuber you feel deeply connected to. This one-sided attachment, though imaginary, can feel incredibly real. In today’s digital age, where screens bring personalities closer than ever, parasocial relationships—those deep yet one-way emotional bonds—are becoming increasingly common. These relationships involve feelings of attachment, admiration, or affection toward someone who doesn’t reciprocate or even acknowledge your existence.

The term “parasocial interaction” was first introduced in 1956 by sociologists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl. They observed that television viewers often formed strong emotional bonds with on-screen personalities, such as talk show hosts and news anchors. These figures appeared approachable and intimate, creating an illusion of friendship despite the one-sided nature of the interaction. Over time, this concept has evolved, especially with the rise of digital media, where parasocial relationships have become more nuanced and widespread.

Parasocial relationships typically progress through three stages. The first stage involves interaction, where a fan begins following or engaging with a celebrity, influencer, or public figure. This could include watching their content, attending events, or interacting on social media. At this point, the connection is primarily one-sided, with the fan being the active participant. In the second stage, the fan starts to feel a deeper sense of connection, often viewing the figure as a “friend” or someone they personally know. They may spend more time consuming the figure’s content and believe in a mutual bond, despite the absence of real interaction. The third stage is marked by intense emotional investment. The fan may feel loyalty, support, and attachment to the figure, possibly leading to over-identification. They might celebrate the figure’s successes as their own and feel personally affected by their actions or life events.

With the evolution of technology, parasocial relationships have adapted to changing media landscapes. While people once felt connected to traditional celebrities like movie stars or TV anchors, they now form bonds with online influencers and even virtual avatars. Platforms like YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook have created dynamic spaces for these relationships to flourish. Modern interactive features, such as live streams and comment sections, allow users to engage directly with their favorite personalities, fostering a sense of closeness. Additionally, people continue to form deep attachments to fictional characters from TV shows, movies, and books, experiencing emotions that mirror the characters’ journeys.

One of the key appeals of parasocial relationships is their emotional safety. Since the connection is one-sided, there are no interpersonal conflicts or disagreements. The media personality can be seen as an idealized figure, offering inspiration or aspiration. They provide a sense of connection or belonging to a community, even without direct interaction. Moreover, these relationships are easily accessible, as media personalities are often available through various platforms.

However, there are downsides to these one-sided bonds. Individuals may reduce real-life social engagement, focusing more on their parasocial connections. Media personalities can exploit these emotional bonds for financial gain or personal agendas. The lack of mutual interaction can lead to blurred boundaries, where fans may feel entitled to the attention of their favorite celebrities, resulting in unhealthy expectations and behaviors. In some cases, this can escalate into serious psychological issues, such as loneliness, unrealistic expectations, and emotional distress.

According to Kapil Sharma, a counseling psychologist,  there is also a high chance of a ‘breakup’ in parasocial relationships, where the fan’s connection is disrupted. “This could happen if the public figure becomes less accessible, faces scandals, or stops engaging with their audience.” Sharma explains that such disruptions can leave individuals feeling hurt, confused, or abandoned, leading to emotional withdrawal. “The breakup stage can disrupt sleep and eating habits, as individuals may become overly consumed with the relationship. The lack of reciprocity can lead to emotional dissatisfaction or loneliness. Focusing on parasocial relationships may also negatively impact professional and educational performance, as individuals prioritize media consumption over responsibilities.”

Algorithms play a significant role in reinforcing these relationships. For instance, watching videos of the same person on YouTube can lead to more recommendations, deepening the attachment. Samira Kiju, an 18-year-old fan of the South Korean pop group, BTS, says watching the shows and listening to the music of  his favorite group excites him. “Following BTS for six years has made me feel like I’m growing with them. Even though I’ve never met them, they feel like a part of my life. They motivate me to be confident and love myself. Their live streams feel like phone calls with a long-distance friend, helping me relax after an exhausting day.”

Rabindra Dhant, an MMA fighter in the Asia Pacific region, shares his perspective as a public figure. “I feel happy and motivated by people who form parasocial relationships with me. Sometimes I feel pressure, but I enjoy it because it makes this journey worth it.” He mostly interacts with his fans through Instagram and YouTube. “We motivate each other to be better than we were yesterday.”

Parasocial relationships also extend to fictional characters, who often feel as real as any person in our lives. We laugh, cry, and dream with these characters, forming bonds that blur the line between reality and fiction. They may be products of storytelling, but the emotional attachment they inspire is undeniably powerful.

Parasocial relationships highlight the intricate balance between human emotional connection and modern technology. While they offer comfort, a sense of belonging, and even motivation, they also present challenges that require introspection. As technology continues to reshape how we form connections, it’s worth asking: How deep are our bonds with media figures, and what does this mean for our real-world relationships? Are we truly engaging with each other, or are we becoming more isolated, seeking fulfillment from one-sided bonds? These questions challenge us to reflect on the evolving nature of human interaction in the age of screens and algorithms.

For those of us who love books and music (and quite frankly, who doesn’t?) it’s always a good idea to be surrounded by them. It will make us want to read more, discover new artists and music, and thus live an inspired life. In most homes, despite housing voracious readers and music aficionados, books and music take up good space but aren’t really a part of the decor. They are there as essentials. But these elements can be incorporated in different parts of your house to make your home feel lived in, cozy, and like an extension of your personality. Here’s a quick guide on how you can use books and music seamlessly around the house.

Books make great coffee table decor

Coffee table books make an artistic statement. Choose one (or a few) you like and make sure it has a striking cover and place it on your center table as a focal point. You can choose to use multiple books and create a little stack with a decor item or a wooden box on top to hide your remotes and controllers.

Display your cookbooks

Every house, where books are loved, is sure to have a few cookbooks. Dedicating a corner of the spice rack to these treasure troves of recipes or even just putting them near the chopping board on the counter works as a stunning and functional decor idea. They will look nice and you will be inspired to whip up delicious meals.

Get a simple sound system

There’s nothing better than having soothing music playing in the background as you work or when you have guests over. These days, thanks to smartphones, we rely on our phones and tablets to listen to music. While there is nothing wrong with that, a good sound system however, with speakers in multiple rooms, can change the vibe of your space.

A wall of vinyls or covers

These work well with book covers too but a wall especially dedicated to old records or their covers adds a lot of intrigue to a space. Create a gallery with your favorite records or if you are still playing them, use a single shelf to display the cover of the record you are currently listening to.

Use books as stands and risers

Under a vase or a favorite decor item or as something to elevate a photo frame, books as stands can be a great way to store books as well as create a stunning display. You can stack books on your nightstand, shelves, and countertops to prop up other things like lamps, candle stands, or even plants. It adds an interesting dimension to the display.

Leave a book open

A super easy way to decorate with books is to leave one open. Whether it be in the bedroom or the kitchen, leave a book open to your favorite page. It could be a photo book or a page with something that resonates with you. You can also use a bookstand in the kitchen to keep a cookbook open on your favorite recipe or the one you are thinking of replicating.

Musical instruments as functional pieces

If you have a drum set or a tabla lying around or if you know someone who does and who is ready to part with it (or you can even check out online second hand deals), then you can repurpose these into coffee or side tables. You could also display vintage musical instruments as decorative items. These days you can also make musical instruments inspired furniture items like dining tables or consoles.

Add a pop of color with books

Books can be used to add a pop of color to a monochrome setting. If your living room has a neutral tone like white, beige, or brown, choose to create a pile of books in a particular color like royal blue or orange to add a pop of color to it. Choose books where the colors of the spines match but ensure they are of different sizes.

Flutes make a playful display

You can get these for cheap anywhere in town and they make for a great table arrangement. They are usually not that large so they can fit anywhere without getting in the way. They are also symbolic as they are tied to spirituality and transformation in many cultures. In Hinduism, we associate it with Lord Krishna. Consider displaying it with some peacock feathers to give a nod to your heritage.

Frame your favorite poster or lyrics of a song

This is perhaps the most underrated but impactful way to incorporate your favorite music and pay homage to your favorite artist. Simply get a poster of a band or an artist you like and frame it to hang somewhere in the house. The larger the poster, the better. You can also print the lyrics of your favorite song and get that framed. 

Samantha Harvey’s ‘Orbital’ is the winner of The Booker Prize 2024. This slim novel is about six astronauts as they rotate in a spacecraft above earth. There to collect meteorological data and conduct scientific experiments, the astronauts observe the space from a unique vantage point. They see earth in all its glory and feel protective about it as they question what it means to be alive and what in fact is reality when they are so far away from home.

The good thing about writing a review of Orbital is that I don’t have to worry about the possibility of giving out spoilers, like I usually am while working on book reviews. It’s basically an account of what these six astronauts see from space and how they feel about it. There’s no plot as such except for the day to day occurrences in their lives. Their backstories make for tiny slivers of the story which takes place in one day but time is measured differently in space. Morning arrives every 90 minutes and each of the chapters record a single orbit of the earth.

Harvey has captured the psychology of these characters and interspersed it with visuals of the earth from space. You will get to be in a certain character’s head and then suddenly be jolted with views of the craters and ridges of the earth. The combination, I felt, works for a short while so it’s a good thing that the book isn’t long. I enjoyed the book but it felt like the narrative was dragging on by the end of it. Any longer and I would have probably given up on it.

But Harvey’s writing makes the scenes come alive in front of your eyes. You get a bird’s eye view of a space station and the universe that surrounds it. She describes it so well. It’s almost like you are the one on the mission. Harvey has written other novels like ‘The Wilderness’, ‘All is Song’, ‘Dear Thief’, and ‘The Western Wind’ and a work of non-fiction called ‘The Shapeless Unease: A Year of Not Sleeping’ which is a study of insomnia and its complexities. Judging by her body of work, it seems she’s fascinated with things that can’t be explained easily but attempts to do it anyway. Orbital might be her boldest work yet as there isn’t another piece of fiction like it.

In an interview, Harvey said she wrote Orbital during a period of anxiety induced insomnia. She started the book before the pandemic but most of it was written during the lockdown. That probably explains the sense of urgency and desperation in Orbital. The story makes you feel trapped—in the space station, the character’s heads and thoughts—and leaves you with little room to think for yourself. Despite being a novel, it’s also a book you can dip in and out of as there’s an almost essay-like quality to it. Don’t be fooled by the novel’s slim size, it’s not an easy and thus quick read and you could be a little confused at times. But I urge you to give it a try as it’s different and daring. 

Fiction

Orbital

Samantha Harvey

Published: 2024

Publisher: Vintage

Pages: 136, Paperback